Here in the southwest it is a time to get outside and enjoy the incredible warmth and vibration of blooming trees and twiterpated animals! Spring is here! As part of my journey to stay spiritually “grounded” and my journey to “ keep a 3 year old and 1 ½ year old engaged and safe” we decided to dig a mudpit! J
Okay, I must admit, at first I was at a loss…I had a picture in my head of those big pools of mud you see on TV for crazy obstacle course game shows or big lush pits of nurturing mud for those desiring a nourishing bath in the “black gold.” I looked at my backyard and felt overwhelmed. Have you ever felt this way? Like, “why couldn’t I just wiggle my nose or pull on my ear and have a big ol’ pool of mud appear?” Maybe I watched too much Bewitched as a child?! J My point is…okay…well…I ADMIT IT…I just didn’t want to do the work!!! I struggled with this for about a week (until the pressure of two highly energized little girls finally broke me down) and I realized…I just have to start with putting the shovel in the ground… so I did. Next, dig in! So I did. Dig a little deeper! So I did. Until I realized, I could start by digging a small mudpit and then see how that worked out. So I did…1.5 ft in diameter and it was brilliant. The girls loved it! The next day, I dug a little more…made it a little bit bigger and a little bit deeper. Then I watched…waited…even more fun! Sweet! It’s like the energy of that first dig just propelled me forward! My point - are you having a hard time getting started on something? Anything? Maybe it’s something you HAVE to do. Or maybe something you’ve been putting off for a while, a long while! Maybe it’s something you just KNOW your heart is calling you to do but you’re scared because you’ve never done it before (this is my first mudpit ;) ) or people will think you’re crazy (again, the mudpit example J). Try not to get overwhelmed…keep the vision of the “big picture” in your mind and then simply put the shovel in the ground. If that feels good, dig in! The rest will practically dig itself!
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I get so frustrated when things don’t go MY way! There, I said it! I’m not a natural planner or a very structured person by nature, but when I DO take the time to plan or structure something you better BELIEVE I will have it go my way, or else…unless of course it doesn’t. :)
Have any of you ever had these thoughts? It happened to me twice today…where I planned things in detail and life just kind of laughed at me. I’ll tell you about the first! I hope this story helps you find a little more magic on your own journey. I planned on my partner getting home at a 10 am this morning. I texted at 9:10 am to make sure he’s on his way (it’s an hour bike ride from where he is). He calls and says it’s going to be another hour and then he’ll ride home! This news obviously puts my carefully planned morning off by at least another hour! Frustrated…I fume…thinking thoughts of blame and judgment…all very productive things to be doing with my time, I know! :) My very efficient, effective and detailed plan of action for the day, ruined! Or was it? I proceeded to take a breath, calm myself down and focus on what was in front of me…the children, the dishes that need to get done, the grocery list that needs to be made, the never ending piles of laundry that need to be folded and I realized this morning was MEANT to go this way. How did I know this? I know my morning was supposed to unfold like it did because…well…it did. To me, this is a comforting thought and you can use it in almost any situation! Now this is not to say that my partner and I can’t discuss and agree on better ways to communicate, but in that moment, I could either keeping fuming about my plans being ruined and my perception of his lack of consideration, OR I could go with it! So I went with it…and you know what? My day only got better and I was even able to see how being put off that hour ended up creating more space and opportunity later in my day…almost as if by magic! It amazing what happens when we learn to get present in our lives! We are always working with something...a picture...a story greater than our own. When we take the lead and what we plan is right on, it feels amazing! But when it’s not, and the Universe gives you an opportunity to embrace the present moment…take it…you never know where the it will lead you! I think we underestimate what it means to have peace in our lives! We are so used to living in the fast pace our everyday existence that when we may have a moment to cultivate a little peace, it quickly gets pushed to the back burner along with our slowly deteriorating health and sanity!
One of the words that come up when I ask people how they felt after our session is peace! They experienced a deep sense of peace within themselves. So I wanted to give you three practical things you can do, starting today, to allow more peace into your life! I think you will be amazed at how cultivating a little more peace in your life can reap even bigger benefits for your overall health and happiness. 1) Be Present! Many spiritual traditions call it mindfulness. All this means is to BE PRESENT with what ever is in front of you. If you are making coffee…BE with your coffee making. If you are folding laundry, BE with your laundry! If you working on a project, BE with your project! We’ve developed a sense of “I’m going to miss out” thinking in our society because everything moves so quickly…I mean you can blink and the next version of iPhone has already discounted on Amazon! But because we fail to slow down and actually give our full attention in the moment to our children, our cup of tea, our dinner, our work…we lose out on the potential and magic of the PRESENT. And believe me, when you are able to make your days into a series of “present moments” you will not only begin to experience the limitless potential and magic of existence but a peace that surpasses all understanding! Mmmmmm…… 2) Breathe! Simple, yes! So simple that it could be dismissed…but I think by now many of you have already heard the science behind the health benefits of conscious breathing or meditation. But are you aware that breathing can also facilitate more peace in your life as well? Try this: when you are feeling anxiety, stress or tension (or hell, go crazy and use this prior to feeling any physical or metal stressors in your body) J Put your hand over your heart, take a deep belly breath (yes puff out that tummy on the inhale) and hold it for 3 seconds. Then exhale with your hand still over your heart…becoming aware of your breath leaving your body. Do it again bringing even more awareness to your breath. Breathe in peace….breathe out and smile! You did it! Now do it over and over. Get it? Got it? Enjoy it. 3) Go inside! You know those times when you are on overload but you may not be aware of it? It looks something like this…you know you have a ton to do, things need to be getting done but you keep bouncing back and forth between your email and facebook account, thinking of what you need to get done, then, oh the laundry, you get up to do the laundry, then, crap, I need to call this person, wait, did I get a gift for…., online again, “tweet”, shit, I need to pick up the kids! Or maybe you just “space out” at work and fall into habits of procrastination with anything that is a willing participant! J Okay, maybe it’s not that bad but you get the point. We all have time when we feel flustered, discombobulated, restless and just drained! Common practice is to busy yourself so you FEEL like you’re getting something done…so you are being a good little productive busy bee, but in reality our body is telling us to GO INSIDE! Not in the house, but inside yourself. So stop. Sit…bring your awareness back into your body (literally gather the pieces of yourself you’ve left strewn throughout your day back into your body using your imagination). Sit down. Close your eyes. Peace out…and peace in! Winter time…a time for getting quiet, going inside and nurturing the “knowingness” within. What? Did I just describe the way all of you spent your December? Man, I am all for holidays…starting with a beautiful Hanukkah that came early this year, the advent and Christmas season and our friends even had a Kwanza party this year!!! I love the traditions and rituals, celebrations and feeling of community this time of year brings but, holy menorah, with all the focus on external events and people I seem to have lost my grounding…and in a season when many of nature's creatures go underground, I definitely need to at least come in for a landing! :)
Moving into the New Year is an incredible time to set goals, make promises, craft resolutions and I hope all of you are at least paying some conscious attentions to purposefully creating your 2011! This week, I want to make sure that these intentions are coming from an authentic place and not one of “have to” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” or based on others, society’s or cultural expectations! Your goals and intentions for the New Year should come from that place inside you that is genuinely, whole-heartedly YOU! This is the only way they will continue to hold any weight and be motivation to keep growing throughout the year and one the best ways you can find that quiet place of “knowingness” inside you is to pay attention to YOURSELF…to take care of yourself. So as the external hoopla dies down, return to that place within, just like the winter creatures and find out what it is you really want for yourself, your family, your community and ultimately for your world this New Year. Here are some suggestions that I will be using myself this week (Note my fellow perfectionists and OCD prone peeps - notice how I don’t have to get this all done by the Eve of December 31st…just use the energy that is present in this week and this season to get clear about what is in your heart for 2011 :)). Got it? Okay, let’s proceed! 1) Take quiet time for yourself – Seems obvious, but how many of us when taking time for ourselves FILL it with work, facebook/twitter stalking, reading, talking on the phone…let’s face it, many of us will find anything to not have to be alone with, well, ourselves. But in order to HEAR your insides (intuition, heart’s desires, etc) you’ve got to face the monster and yes, BE with YOURSELF. Sit, breathe, drink tea, go for a walk, do yoga, sit, think….breathe, meditate, drink coffee, breathe...I think you get it. 2) T-t-t-ouch yourself –Take a soothing bubble bath, give yourself a massage (foot, face, shoulders, whatever), file and paint your own nails, tickle your own arm (remember doing that as a kid J), put on clothes that make you feel safe and nurtured, brush your hair just because, rub lotion on your legs and really pay attention while you’re doing it. Yes, it’s great to go to the spa, but doing these simple self care rituals for ourselves and actually BEING PRESENT while we’re doing them, often unlocks dormant desires and intentions that may not have been allowed to come to the surface. 3) Have FUN!!! Do something that makes you giggle, smile, dance, squeal, sing, twirl, shake with joy, really LAUGH OUT LOUD (not just LOL) and enjoy what your inner child and wisest self has to tell you about what you REALLY want! Now quick, go write it all down before midnight and get to work! :) Wishing everyone an inspired, joyful and purposefully productive 2011! H ave you ever felt like you’re being pulled in a hundred different directions all at once? You women out there may be asking, isn’t that just the way life is? Do you like to call this dispersion of energy “multi-tasking?” Well, I’m going to pop some of your bubbles (especially the ladies out there)! Multi-tasking is great for doing a lot of things without a lot of consciousness. And recent studies of “multi-tasking” have shown it to be much less effective than focusing on one thing at a time. Okay, I may have lost some of you now because you’re saying, well that’s how I am or that’s how I function…but hear me out (sistas especially…the gentlemen have got this one pretty much down)! What I’m about to say will make you feel less stressed thus decrease illness and boost your immune system and maybe even increase your overall quality of life, especially during this busy time of year!
H ere it is…BLOCK YOUR TIME! Before you begin your week go through each day and decide what you will choose to be present to and BLOCK IT! The secret then is to HONOR YOUR OWN CHOICES! If you block 4pm-6pm for dinner/family time then don’t check your email while the pasta is boiling! I know we all CAN do this, but it doesn’t mean it is to our highest benefit. If you’ve set this time aside for family and dinner…BE PRESENT to your choice! Listen to your kids chatter in the back seat on the way home from practice instead of finishing up that last business call. Make dinner a time to reinvigorate the senses (which will serve in other areas of your life as well J). Listen to the water boil, enjoy the aroma of the sauce (even if it’s straight from the jar)…can you pick out the scent of onion and garlic. Sit down and, now I know this might sound crazy, TASTE and CHEW your food! Enjoy the face time with your roommate, spouse, friends , kids or yourself! J BE PRESENT to what is in front of you…after all YOU chose it! Block the your time the way you would like to spend it! Go for the ideal! Yes, life will happen sometimes? Of course! But try to honor how and with what or whom you’d like to spend you’re time with. Be completely present with your choice, mind, body and spirit! See how you FEEL? You may actually get more done and be happier and healthier doing it! J Yesterday I was sitting out on the patio watching my two-year-old, Louisa, splash around in her plastic swimming pool. You know the one: blue with multi colored, bug-eyed underwater creatures staring up at you through the leaf-laden water? It’s amazing the abandon with which such a small child slips and slides, jumps and splashes, never worrying that a little leaf may stick to her butt or that she will slip and fall too hard. With unabashed wildness she flung her limbs as I watched the water spray up in the air and fall like fairy dust all around this beautiful iridescent skinned sprite. Just then my wide camera focus, narrowed as my daughter honed in on a small buzzing creature flipped upside down in the wakes. The water settled to a calm placid lake as Lou crept up on the tiny insect struggling for its life. My instinct as a mama bear was to leap in between my little one and the deadly stinging monster, but something in that moment made me stop…and watch…and be still. I looked at the amusement and absolute unbridled joy on my daughter’s face. I then looked inside my constricted, anxious self and chose to exhale…and smile. She giggled as she pushed the water around the little helper bee and now I felt that urge to help the little guy out, but again, I inhaled …and waited …and smiled. Louisa was now concerned for the struggling little exoskeleton as well. I encouraged her to find a way to help if that is what she felt. She pointed to an empty cinnamon container sitting in the overgrown grass outside of the pool and motioned for me to assist. I did and she filled the shaker with water. Sliding up on the bee, she began dowsing it as she poured water from the little holes in the top of the once spicy abode. “Come on bubas,” she cheered him on with her own pet name. The anthropod gasped and struggled to breathe (I imagine) through the enormous droplets. She had high hopes for the little guy. She saw his infinite potential as pollinator to the greatest of flowers and wanted him to be able to live out his bee mission (or wait, was that me…hmmmm?). Lou was slightly disheartened. I was devastated! I encouraged her to try something else. She picked up a rectangular shaped container resembling a kitty litter box (okay… it was a kitty litter box, but we got it at Goodwill and I didn’t realize it until we got home and had already spent many hours filling it up with “bubble water” to play in on our small upstairs apartment patio…pre grassy yard with big plastic pool). So this bubble keeper quickly became a wave maker as Lou scooped and pushed the water trying to get our little hero to climb onto the rim of the poop box. Again she was at a loss. The bee could not seem to jump, fly or climb the thick edge to save its own life. There was, however, forward progress made as massive waves flipped the bee over so he could now doggie paddling his six legs and seemed, even for a bee, a little more hopeful. There was a lightness to his stroke, if I do say so myself. The bee seemed to realize at this point that there were other things to grab hold of around him. It’s like his tiny bee brain woke up. Lou was determined. She would provide the instrument for this little guy to grab on to. This time getting out of the pool herself to find a lifesaver, Lou picked up a gardening tool with three prongs for turning over dirt. I would’ve chosen a shovel myself, but that’s beside the point. As she carried it over to what seemed would be the bee’s watery grave, she suddenly let out a huge yelp and threw the tool in the air grabbing her hand in pain. This time I ran to my baby bear’s side (a mother can only take so much) to see what this normally tough skinned kid was crying about. In trying to help, she had coincidently got a large splinter in her hand. Before she could even get her helpful tool to the bug itself, she had to learn a painful lesson. The very thing she had chosen to save the poor creature’s life, who obviously needed her help, was the very thing that bit her on the…hand! (Sound familiar?) Meanwhile, our little prince of a bug, paddled his way over to a small plastic ice cream cone Lou had left outside from the day before. A perfect unwitting floatation device the winged body was able to grab a hold of to pull him from what seemed to be a dire set of circumstances. We both looked over at this brave soul and marveled at his capacity to live, to breathe, to continue his mission to pollinate the world (I imagine)! Lou clapped and jumped up and down, thrilled for the little fella. I looked on and wished I could have done more. It seems I have much to learn from the littlest spirits among us. Maybe we need to offer to shake things up once in awhile, but mostly just stand back and allow nature to take its course. Love it. Laugh at its obscurity and awe at the fact that we are allowed to play a small part in the cosmic plan. I am committed to stopping…watching…and just beeing until I can breathe and smile at the natural, uncontrived unfolding of the souls and world around me. THE BACKSTORY: The week this mindful event took place was the same week I made a conscious decision to be absolutely present with my girls. I vowed to stop worrying about everything else when they needed me (at 2 and 8 months that's pretty much any time they are awake:)). I realized that all those worries will still be there and all I need to do when my babies are with me is be with them. Enjoy them. Be thankful that I have this time with them. Maybe there is a reason I am not working in a conventional job right now. Maybe the universe is providing me with an opportunity to just be with the girls and all I have to do is say "yes!" All I have to do is trust that the universe, my co-creator, will take care of the us. Funny enough, the next week, my dream job dropped in my inbox and another income opportunity I had planted a seed for months ago appeared! So learn to relax and be present with those in front of you and trust you are completely taken care of. Even the telling of this story, that would have never happened if I was checking my email while Lou played, became a blog that I can use as part of my dream job application. So trust people, TRUST...and be! |
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