One of my biggest awakwnings came when I literally woke up and realized...
all I have to do in this lifetime to be successful is love. That's it. In every moment, in every situation, regardless of circumstances, I just need to love. It sounds incredible simple and you may be thinking, yeah, yeah, I know...love...God is love, love your neighbor, yadayadayada! But this is different, this is a bodily and energetic/soul EXPERIENCE of what it is to BE LOVE in every moment...for months! I have grieved this time in my life many times over. I woke up every morning, very organically saying, Dear Jesus,* Thank you for a new day. Help me to give and receive love as you did. Amen. I then wrote it on my mirror and it became my mantra throughout the day. I have never felt so much instant peace in my life! As I focused everyday on following this heart song, life got easier...things began to flow... hell, even little things like traffic lights routinely turning green as I approached! :) It was like living in a parallel universe were other people would look at me with sparkles in their eyes and wonder how they could feel what I was feeling. I could see love in everyone because the love I felt was being reflected back EVERYWHERE AND IN EVERYONE! As I passed people on the street, I looked in their eyes and quietly reminded myself we are all children of God and I was instantly connected. This was my first conscious experience of "all is one." Strangers told me their life stories, teenagers confided their deepest longings and pains and I felt incredibly grateful to be a vessel in every moment of love. Looking back this is the time I began doing "energy work" for people. It was an awakening to what I am called to do here to evolve this beautiful planet of ours and it came through opening my heart, more like my heart being flung wide open... uncontrollably really (but we'll get to that later!) :) That was it. But that was enough and all I needed to be forever changed! Why do I tell you this? It's 2012. Shifts are happening. Big shifts and I know many if not all of you are feeling it. I personally believe our world is being rebirthed and we are all feeling the symbolic squeeeeeeeze right now before we pop our heads out into the light. Old beliefs, systems and institutions are dissolving before our eyes and all I can tell you is... LOVE. THIS IS THE BASELINE, THE CORNERSTONE FOR THIS NEW WORLD. NO MORE SURVIVAL, SUFFERING OR PAIN. IT WILL ALL DISSOLVE IN LOVE AND WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN! So if you've long forgotten your new year's resolutions and already "messed up" the new habits you started in January, or never even tried... I ask you to consider one thing for 2012. Love. The best you can with all your might. Friend, foe, neighbor, enemy, child, elder, animal, plant... including yourself (which again, we'll come back to :))! My vision of our new world is one with Love at the bottom of the Maslow's Hierarchy and physical needs, although important aren't even worth considering because we have loved this planet and it people into full bellies, flowing, clean water, clean air and our love for ourseves and this planet emotionally and practically becomes a shelter for all!!! <3 Love. Do it. *I was a practicing Roman Catholic at the time so of course Jesus was my homeboy. :) I embrace all gurus, teachers, shamans, buddhas, people, animals... real or fiction who live love including Jesus. :)
1 Comment
I've been waiting for the perfect time to post my next blog...waiting and waiting and waiting to let all of you know what has been going on and why the lengthy period of time between posts.
But you know what? There is in never a perfect time. The perfect, i'mperfect, time is right now! So here I am. I'm checking in today, this September 25th at 12:59 PM. I'm feelin a little frustrated and very quiet. Readying to go inward (as soon as my 3 year old stops sneaking out of her room and peeking around the corner on her hands and knees). :) I last posted about "landing." And indeed that was the case. Many people are feeling right now a new relationship with their physical bodies and that is true for me also. I had a very dramatic experience of actually being able to feel my body again. I think my partner thought I was on drugs becausee I kept dragging my feet against the carpet and my hands over smooth surfaces just because I could FEEL them, as if for the first time! The mental and emotional effects have been lovely as well...my body has slowed down to an "earth" pace (think of water cutting a river into rock) and thus my mind and emotions have done the same. I am less reactionary and more thoughtful before I speak. When I honor this change and allow my physical body time to really "feel" a situation, I make better decisions. It has been quite the integration and visceral in a way I never knew possible. Why am I telling you this? I know that many of you are feeling a shift as well. Maybe you have experienced the opposite and have felt a quickening in your body or thoughts. Maybe you've begun to feel your heart calling you to make a change or feel into a life transition in a way you never have before. Whatever you are experiencing...it is all as it should be. I just wanted to assure all of you that what you are feeling is. Just is. Try not to judge the shifting. Try to embrace the integration even if it feels foreign. You are becoming more of who you really are...who WE really are! When you feel into what the Universe is calling you to do and do the internal work that is yours, you are healing all of us...you are healing the world! We are moving into a more integrated way of love, peace and joy and listening to your body and your heart is an integral part of making this shift happen! So, I want to hear from YOU! Check in. Tell me how you're feeling in your body right now. What is true for you right now and know all of it is good and welcomed! Thank you for reading and allowing me this time to integrate more wholeness into my life! For those of you wondering, I am still taking clients for spiritual coaching and energy readings you need only to contact me through this site or on facebook to get all the details. :) Many blessings on this beautiful Sunday afternoon! Now off to help my sneaky little sprite drift off to dreamland...or are we already here? ;) It has been quite the month! Between the eclipse sandwich (2 solar and 1 lunar), my birthday and the powerful solstice energy in June I have felt A LOT of shifting as I try to live my life more presence, pleasure and peace! For me it has felt like I've been coming in for a "landing." I've been feeling the Earth's energy draw me close and closer. It's been calling me to live from my lower chakras (of rootedness, creativity and power) to balance the "floatier" energies of heart, head and beyond! I've been feeling a call to "anchor in" (whatever that means). ;)
Maybe you have felt it too?! Or maybe you've been feeling the urge to let go, allow, to "fly!" So today was "landing day" for me! I have never felt so grounded and in my body EVER...and it feels really good! I can feel my feet on the ground (literally) for the first time and there is a pleasant heaviness to my mass of of cells and organs that lets me know I am even MORE fully alive than before. One of the main things I stress in sessions with clients is to trust their own instincts and inner wisdom. So today, my body, my wisdom is calling me to enjoy, relish and be present to this transition and integration of more of me. Although there are many things to do...I am going to joyfully listen. This means going offline until Monday (at least) and just being very present in my body! Neat - huh? :) I'm excited to dive into the new space we just created for messiness and art with my two amazing daughters and really get my hands dirty. I'm excited to be amazed at the way my clothes feel on my skin and the way my hair brushes against my shoulders...all things I have never really felt. I feel like I am home again and I want to be present to it, extract every ounce of pleasure from it and rest in the peace of knowing I listened...really listened to the wisdom of my body and soul. I look forward to sharing more of this journey with you. Until then, please let me know how you have been experiencing your own life. Have you felt a shift? Are you feeling more open...expansive? Have you constricted any areas of your life? Please leave a comment below and I look forward to connecting next week! Last week I blogged about Alignment #1 for living a more authentic life. These are rules I "officially" lived at Eden Unplugged in a small community of evolutionary entrepreneurs for three days and nights. They also represent the genuine feeling of self-awareness and community that was the real education students received in my classroom as a teacher of young souls...solving equations was secondary. :) I'm so excited to share them with you and have already received amazing feedback about peeps actually applying these principles to their lives and seeing results! Woo hoo!
Alignment #2: Don't Do What You Don't Want To Do! Now I was thinking to myself, this is the same as the first alignment and I really like to keep things positive rather than tell people what NOT to do. But there are a few important distinctions I would like to highlight here. Those of you who have ever said to yourself... I have to... I should... I'm supposed to... I always get roped into... I hate doing this but... I don't really want to but... then you are doing things that ARE NOT serving your highest interset and robbing you of more PRESENCE, PLEASURE and PEACE right now! No more obligations! Here's the subtlety - Alignment #2 is about you CEASING from doing the things you don't really want to do and Alignment #1 is about CREATING the things you DO want to do! So now CEASE and CREATE! (but only if you want to:) Very important as the basis for each of these Six Alignments I learned at Eden is...
learning to become very present in your own life, day to day, moment to moment, millisecond to millisecond! When you are present body, mind and soul to yourself, your environment and to the people and energy around you, these alignments will come more naturally and produce more love, peace and inspired learning in your life. So... Alignment #1: Do What You Want To Do No...really! Stop worrying about how you will appear or offend people...just listen to yourself (there's that get present thing again) and do what you WANT! You can rest assured you will ALWAYS get immediate and useful information back from the Universe. Use it or don't. But for God's sake and your sanity, get in your body, listen and DO WHAT YOU WANT! ♥ This has helped me with the art of allowing...when others do what they want and don't try to guess what they SHOULD do, or what YOU want them to do, it frees all of us to allow for natural consequences good, bad or neutral, set boundaries and communicate our needs. When I do what I want I can observe the affects on myself and the people around me. It makes me an observer of my own life and empowers me to choose based on desirable or undesirable outcomes. Doing what I want helps get me closer to living the life, relationships and purpose I truly want to be living in this world by providing immediate feedback to my choices rather than having to navigate the thinking and psychology around why I choose what I choose. I choose it because I want to! It works to bring more life or it doesn't. As someone who's always had...well...no boundaries, accepting that others do what they want has helped me be true to myself by setting better boundaries or reaching out with authentic communication if I am uncomfortable or don't understand someone else’s choices. Not to mention making it easier for me to let go of um, well...eh hem..some...(cough, cough)...control issues! Whew! :) Practical Tip: Stay present...pay attention and accept the feedback the Universe provides when you do what you want! Use it...or don't! Do what you want! :) It has been quite an adjustment this last month after returning from Eden! It's like I was on a natural high immediately when I returned...and then my body was like, wait, this is TOO good and I created situations in my life to screw myself out of manifesting in my "real" life all the wonderful things that happened inside me at Eden!
Have you ever done this? It's called hitting your "upper limit." It can look like picking a fight with your partner (this is my fav...blah...poor Steve), procrastinating, yelling at your kids, overeating, not taking care of yourself, really anything that will keep you from focusing on making positive change in your life and bring you right back down into the muckity-muck! I've felt this many times before I know I'm supposed to step into something bigger. It feels like you're being stretched from the inside out. Why? Because you're expanding into new uncharted territory!!! Exciting but oh-so-scary too! So instead of heading back to where I feel "comfortable" (which actually, after fighting about the dishes for the 400th time, I realized, really actually sucks!) I've begun LIVING what I learned at Eden and wouldn't ya know, I'm right back on track and ready to share it with ya'll. So here a simple tool we used regularly at Eden Unplugged and I have used in many other arenas in my life throughout the years! This works at home, work, social gatherings, classrooms, with kids, with cranky spouses, with friends and strangers alike! And yes, I've tried it with all of the above! So please, for God's sake and your sanity, try this at home! :) Circle Time! 1) Sit or stand in a circle...yes, that's right, just like in kindergarden! (also works with two people, so no excuses :)). 2) Take a deep breath together. Do it a few times if it feels a little weird. (yes, we did this in my junir high classromm almost every day) 3) Invite everyone to check in or pay attention to how their body is feeling (giggle, giggle). This could mean physically, energetically, if there is pain, or excitement in the belly, light headed, nervous energy, etc. 4) Invite everyone to share. a) Name b) How there are feeling in there body and c) if there is anything keeping them from feeling completely present right there and then. Or come up with a question of your own. We used "What inspired you to come" at our last community gathering and it was so incredible to watch people (many complete strangers) simply begin to connect... authentically... by just sitting in circle together! Try it. You might like it! :) Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below! :) I’ve been humbled this week. I was forced to really look at the message I am sending out to people. A message I’ve tried to live, communicate and teach for years…to just “be!” I sometimes talk about “being present” (one of my rules as a classroom teacher) and last week encouraged you (and myself) to just be and allow.
This week I got an email from a beloved friend of 20 + years, pissed off that I was telling people to “just be” when our world was falling apart. He felt I was giving people an excuse to just sit on their asses all day and not lift a finger to do the work that is required to get our world back on track. I’ve built my life and business around the concept and practice of “being present” so this well meaning email caused me to take pause! Okay, his directness stung a little (a lot :))…but it inspired me. After the sting wore off…to question my own intentions and also take a deeper look at the reasons for living, coaching and writing so much about this topic. Was there some truth to what he was suggesting? Was I giving people and possibly myself an excuse to be lazy? I knew there was some truth in it because of the strong reaction I had. Note: if you have a strong reaction to something someone else says or does there is always a lesson (and a gift) in it for YOU…it has nothing to do with the other person. So here’s what I learned. I DO hide behind my keyboard quite often. It is safe and I can choose whether or not I respond to emails and comments about what I write. It protects my sensitive nature and in some ways keeps me from actually doing the work that I know needs to get done in real life that would make my services more accessible. Writing is one way of being present for me so if I’m writing and nurturing my own soul, thus advancing the consciousness of the world, then all is well...right? Maybe. Or is more balance called for. Hmmm...at least something for me to ponder. So, I have now taken more action this week to do some of the things I’ve wanted to do for a long time (namely getting organization and systems in place to help boost my productivity). Whoa, did that just leave my fingertips? lol Thanks to my amazing friend, I’ve allowed my “being” time to be a catalyst for inspired action and both the being and the doing have been more fruitful! Woot! :) I also learned that I don’t have to be afraid to question and reflect on what I believe to be true. If any of you have had to leave a religion or have lived a life in opposition to your family’s values (I’ve done both) then you know what I mean. I was worried that if I really looked at my motivations, intentions and “truths” about being present, I would find that I actually know jack squat about what I was trying to articulate and thus be found out to be a fraud! But the gift was that as I communicated with my friend, I became more and more convinced of the importance of becoming aware and being present in order to act, do and work from a place of authenticity. He forced me to stand up for my beliefs and also mirrored back and affirmed them as I was able to clarify my motivations. I stand firm knowing that as we become more present to your our own life we heighten the effectiveness and meaning of our work in the world as well as create fun and ease within the process of “work” itself! So many of us just do and do and do without ever stopping to think…what the hell am I running around doing all this for? Why am I working so hard at a job I despise? Why am I giving all of my time to things I really could care less about? Because society tells you to? Your boss? Your God? This I know, until you are able to be - just be - with yourself and until you get present enough to hear your own soul, your actions will be forced, laborious, and less effective than if you learn to get present and listen. So there it is...the lesson that kicked my butt into action and the gift of my friend (and teacher) for speaking his own truth to help me clarify my own! Now get busy...just being! I KNOW you can feel it! And I know it’s not going to be a secret for much longer – thank GOD!
I’ve received a few, okay many, emails, messages and comments with a similar feel and I’m calling you out…all of you! :) It goes something like this: “Leslie, I so feel and resonate with what you wrote/said. I feel what you are feeling too. Thank you for articulating it.” Okay, so this really doesn’t do even the slightest bit of justice to the beautiful responses I receive, but I know you guys get it!** We are at a point in our evolution where, every day, every hour, every minute is beginning to feel like (and is!) a step into the abyss…into the unknown! We are co-creating a new way of living, working and loving in a whole new paradigm! And I KNOW you can feel it too! We have the incredible responsibility and privilege of building a bridge to this “new world” for our children and we’re going to do it through getting really, REALLY present (here, now, this moment) and doing it in community! Huge, right? Maybe not. Here’s the deal! It’s true. What you’re feeling is real! In short, it’s hard to name because it is in the subtleties of being. You are feeling it when you are present, allowing and connecting, but not necessarily aware of when you are in it! Whoa! Bringing conscious awareness to each of these elements of BE-ing will help clarify how exactly YOU fit into this evolutionary process. This is the essence of what I experienced in real time at Eden where I found my tribe! So let me break these subtleties down a little: Warning: These are so simple you “thinking/mental/intelligent body may want to disregard and make them insignificant BUT I encourage you to feel into these in your physical body. If you need help doing this contact me and I’m happy to help. 1) You guessed it…GET PRESENT! You’ve heard it from me before and you’ll hear in again but find a practice that helps get you in the moment, be it meditation, breathing techniques, yoga …hell – give yourself a pinch every now and then! But the new paradigm of living and loving is here and now…so get there, err…ah…here…now! :) 2) ALLOW! Welcome to the present moment. NOW, you must ALLOW (ooooo mama, this is a hard one for me!). Allow everything to be as it is and everyone to be just as they are. That’s right…no fixing, no judging (which is just fixing in your head), and no blaming or projecting your own crap onto others. I know this is a big one, especially us women who feel like we could pretty much run the world all by ourselves (thank you very much) if everyone would just DO AS I SAY! And, sistah, believe me, I hear you! ;) But think of it this way…allowing is close to our natural state of receiving.* Ahhhh, so much to share here! So for now, allow, allow, allow…and if you have to bite your tongue to get through the day – well, then, at least it will get you present! :) 3) CONNECT...no, seriously! How many of us go through our days “connecting” without really connecting? You know what I mean, your lips are moving and so are theirs but you’re in your head making assumptions, replaying your day, picking up the kids, etc and a whole conversation has gone by without you really being present. So here’s my suggestion: find a group of people you can practice getting present with and allow each other to be…yep, that’s it! Find a community where you can breathe, meditate, stretch and allow yourself and others to be good, bad, ugly, brilliant, guilty, fearful, genius, idiotic…whatever! Find a circle of peeps where you will be allowed to be you…all of you! Sound good? Connect now! :) Local? Connect HERE! :) Come on by! I'll be holding the container for this kind of community on June 5th! and if you're not local but want to connect to a like-minded communiy send me a quick message here with this in the subject line: “I’m in from (your city here)!” Ex: I’m in from Tempe, AZ!” And I will get you more info as it becomes availble...remember, I'm stepping into the unknown too...weeeeee! :) So that’s it. Subtle…yes. Simple…yes. Supported…yes. So let’s build this bridge together! You in? **I thank YOU for the continued inspiration in your responses to these posts for you help me remember who I am and why am here so I can hopefully do them same for you. :) *We no longer have to control everything around us in order to survive in this world and if you still feel like you do, like I do sometimes, gently remind yourself that you are safe and the need to control is just an illusion…whew! The world is now ready for us. We are safe to allow other people, institutions, societies, cultures, and worlds to just be. Let’s start to rest in the divine feminine knowing…allowing…. receiving…trusting that by doing so we will catalyze POWERFUL change is this world! More to come on this! I’m crying as I begin to write this.
I’ve been trying to find a way to express to all of you what I soaked up, practiced and learned at Eden Unplugged last week. There is so much I want to tell you but as I sit to write, my heart is heavy because writing this means I am no longer there…for reals. I’m no longer sitting naked in the healing waters of the hot springs, I am no longer in the warm shelter of my tent/soul mate mama, I am no longer listening, connecting, crying, hugging, eye gazing, dancing and holding space with the beautiful souls I was fortunate enough to cross paths with on this desert in the journey. Smiling through the tears now. As I sit hear in my local coffee shop sipping a matte latte with a scarf I wore most of the time at Eden wrapped around my shoulders (I may never wash this thing again), trying to keep the hip barista guy from seeing proof of sorrow streaming down my face, I feel an incredible energy and hopefulness! My experience at Eden has proven to me that the world I have dreamed of all my life (and somewhat lived in, if only in my head :)) IS possible! We CAN be and love, allow and accept, create and fall apart with each other…in community! We no longer have to live in the illusion of isolation! You can be who you really are…all of you… naked and raw, vulnerable and brilliant and it will be okay...it will be enough! Writing this, honoring what I said I would do when I got back and sharing what I have learned, is calling me out of that space in my heart I have not wanted to let go of for the past 11 days…so thank you for holding me to my promise to share…I will, in depth and in all the amazingness that is Eden and Eden unplugged share more! For now, thank you for allowing me this moment to grieve the physical experience of Eden so that I can begin to, with your help, manifest the spirit of Eden in the real world! Woo hoo! I think it will seep out through these messages over the next few weeks but if there is one lesson to take away and one I am learning through this process of reintegration into the “default” world, it is honor where you are. If you feel yourself, trying, pulling, pushing, straining, feeling the “have tos” and shoulds…stop…no seriously, Stop... Take a deep belly breath…. Allow whatever you are feeling to just be. Allow yourself to feel it in your body and feel it and feel it and FEEL IT until the Universe has squeezed every last beautiful, sparkling nourishing tear from you and then… Listen... listen close to the Eden of YOUR heart! Let’s build it together! I’m in! Are you? I've been here before. Have you?
When I said "yes" to running a drop in center for teenagers for a year, when I said "yes" to my first teaching job and when I said "yes" to directing and stage managing a Shakespeare play for my students (ahhh..hem...I'm the math teacher, kids)! All of these times in my life, I knew I was saying "yes" to something bigger than me, something that would require more of me than I thought I was capable of at the time I decided to say "yes." I was saying yes to unknown territory so... all these "yeses" required me to stay very, very present as I was experiencing them! And although at the time it felt like I was stepping into the abyss... saying yes to the unknown changed me forever! The most recent of these moments until now was when I found myself pregnant outside the context of a "conventional relationship" and saying "yes" to this life inside me as well as to the possibility of a relationship with my friend and the father of my child. I have been stretched, expanded and literally cut open and my insides exposed through this particular "yes." This yes to a new life has required a kind of presence I've only read about in words of saints, mystics and masters! :) And the rest is, well, evolving! :) This week, I have felt that familiar urge to expand once again...and quite frankly it's freaking me out! When have you felt like this in your own life? Are you feeling like this now? (Your are not alone!!!) So because I'm trying to get this letter out while my young children are engaged in something else, I only have a moment and I want to be authentic and somewhat helpful. Bringing awareness to when this expansion is happening is incredibly important and will save you from that "how did I end up here, again" feeling! So try this! 1) Name what is making you to feel stretched 2) Feel it in your body. Feeling into that fear...into that feeling of I'm not good enough...into what you might have to leave behind if you say "yes." 3) Now feel into the possibility of your own brilliance? Into the present moment and the creation of YOU happening right now? Feel into the abundance and unlimited potential of you and the Youniverse! :) 4) Now...say "yes!" Jump! Woo hoooo! This I know...the incredible, benevolent Universe will support your unfolding...your "yes" to the unknown...your "yes" to your awesomeness! You (and I:)) are crossing the threshold into more love, more light, more depth, more authenticity and vulnerability! It may feel very raw, but don't turn back! Stay present and enjoy the ride! A more integrated, brilliant, enjoyable version of yourself is on the other side! I, for one, can't wait to meet her! :) |
Archives
February 2015
Categories
All
|