For lifetime upon lifetime I was nurtured, grown, groomed, prompted, forced, beaten, raped and tortured, encouraged and demanded, patronized and cohered into being a very strong and powerful woman. In THIS lifetime, being a strong and powerful woman has meant fitting into the masculine archetype, structure, idea and reality of what strong and powerful mean. My body is beginning to violently reject the generations of control and even the subtle (cordial) manipulations of our current time and space.
I forgot my indigenous and tribal roots! My natural and animalistic blueprint that burns from the depth of my being… “You have given life to ALL!”
Today I remember.
I let my rage, anger and fear teach me. I allow it to come to the surface, be expressed! I have felt remorse and become curious…
Curious about “why” it was even there and “how” to tame it (NO MORE TAMING)!
And I felt, really felt and I remembered…and I lived….and I learned ...am learning.
In this lifetime I am again made to be a strong and powerful, influential leader! Yet there are no maidens waiting to brush and braid my hair, bath my body and anoint my feet. There is no one to tighten my corset and arrange my features in a statuesque manner as to please the men and masses.
It is up to me to care, to take extreme and luscious care of myself.
This is my work.
I have ruled over souls and kingdoms. I have been the muse and master. I have been the willing courtisane and confidant of many through which my hidden voice made it to the ears that mattered.
Yet I have never ruled over my own body.
This is my work.
I have held meetings in public and in secret, led counsels, kept schedules and agendas to meet the expectations of armies and royalty. I have had time and space handed to me on an elusive golden platter that dictated my comings and goings to the good of all!
And now my body yearns for timelessness.
My body desires to feel safe enough to relax, receive and return to it the compassion that sustained empires.
And that is my work.
To dispel the illusion of my own mind and practice – every day and every moment caring immaculately for my own body, mind and soul.
To relax into my reality to allow the show to go on…because it must.
It must go on and I am the river, trees, mountains, caves and fields of wildflowers through which it lives.
My body, my sacred system cared for exquisitely can and will contain the illusion as it undoes itself.
No more fighting. No more rage.
I’m often asked, how did you do it? Do what, I think to myself, before I remember that the vast majority of people living on this planet are STILL not doing what they love!!!
My response, once I remember I’m living a life that most people still think is not possible, is always, I got pregnant!
I am recommending that ya’ll get pregnant!
But really, I was reflecting on, when the Universe (okay and a couple beers, a hookah pipe and my handsome willing baby daddy) conspired to help me become “with child,”
WHY was this the time I decided to strike out on my own creating my own business?
To some that might seem like the craziest time to take such a big risk!
We’ll it was and it wasn’t. My life was the most unstable it a had ever been having NOT chosen a traditional way to start a family
AND I was taking better care of my body, mind and soul than I ever had in my whole life!
Did you hear that?! I was making myself….body, mind and soul a PRIORITY!!!
I knew how important it was to create an environment for this little one growing inside of me that was nurturing, healthy and loving and so I became grounded in myself for the first time!
Granted, I was doing for someone else (thank you, Louisa!) but I was doing it and that’s when I was able to hear.
This is when I felt and heard the call to something much bigger than myself!
I had always known I had something bigger to offer but this time the feeling in my body gave me no choice but to act on creating the pathway to more love and greatness!
Did you hear that women (and you self sacrificing, over-giving men)!!! The more care I showed myself the louder the calling to do my heart work in the world became!!!
So if you’re ready to figure out what your heart work really is and you have no idea where to start…get pregnant!
Or don’t and just go
drink a green smoothie,
think positive loving thoughts towards yourself and your body,
indulge in relaxation,
go to bed early,
drink lots of water
allow others to take care of you and
open up to the possibility of birthing your own “heart work” into the world!
Short and Sweet! Here they are! I am at your service if you feel that subtle or wild nudging to begin living your life from your heart too!
1) I invested in myself! Yep, I hired a coach! AND it was someone who was living a life of service, love, passion and had already attained the financial goals I was seeking! So, was it a stretch for me? Yes! But was it worth the stretching? Absolutely! Making this commitment to myself made me put my physical energy (money and body) and ethereal energy (thoughts, emotions and spirit) into action every single day!
2) I stayed in the flow. Throughout the process, I listened to my own body, intuition and instincts! I said yes to myself and trusted completely where I was being led in every moment! I stayed present and listened to where I was being led. This does indeed take time and practice AND it's completely possible now!
3) I let myself be seen! I can't serve more people if I'm hiding in stalker mode on facebook! :) I consistently allowed myself to be seen and did things I was uncomfortable with that stretched me as a spiritual and physical being. I allowed myself to be more vulnerable, to possible fail or be rejected (like here when I went into hiding for a year lol). But I cannot serve in a bigger way and build a world I want my children to live in if I am not speaking the truth I KNOW deep down in my soul! We are here to live our unique "heart work!" To love this world in a way only we know how in order to create a more present, pleasurable and peaceful way of being for ALL!
Okay...now get to work! :) Love, love, love!