I've been here before...(have you?)
When I said "yes" to running a drop in center for teenagers for a year,
when I said "yes" to my first teaching job
and when I said "yes" to directing and stage managing a Shakespeare play for my students (ahh..hem...I'm the math teacher, kids)!
All of these times in my life, I knew I was saying "yes" to something bigger than me, something that would require more of me than I thought I was capable of at the time I decided to say "yes." I was saying yes to unknown territory so...
all these "yeses" required me to stay very, very present as I was experiencing them!
And although at the time it felt like I was stepping into the abyss...saying yes to the unknown changed me forever!
The most recent of these moments until now was when I found myself pregnant outside the context of a "conventional relationship" and saying "yes" to this life inside me as well as to the possibility of a relationship with my friend and the father of my child.
I have been stretched, expanded and literally cut open and my insides exposed through this "yes." This yes to a new life has required a kind of presence I've only read about in words of saints, mystics and master meditators! :) And the rest is, well, evolving! :)
This week, I have felt that familiar urge to expand once again...and quite frankly it's freaking me out!
When have you felt like this in your own life? Are you feeling like this now? (your are not alone!!!)
So becasue I'm trying to get this letter out while my children are engaged in something else, I only have a moment and I want to be authentic and somewhat helpful.
Bringing awareness to when this expansion is happening is incredibly important and will save you from that "how did I end up here, again" feeling! :)
So try this!
1) Name what is making you to feel stretched
2) Feel it in your body. Feeling into that fear...into that feeling of I'm not good enough...into what you might have to leave behind if you say "yes."
3) Now feel into the possibility of your own brilliance? Into the present moment and the creation of YOU happening right now? Feel in to the abundance and unlimited potential of you and the Youniverse! :)
4) Now...say "yes!" Jump! Woo hoooo!
This I know...the incredible, benevolent Universe will support your unfolding...your "yes" to the unknown...your "yes" to your awesomeness!
You (and I:)) am crossing the threshhold into more love, more light, more depth, more authenticity and vulnerability! It may feel very raw, but don't turn back!
Stay present and enjoy the ride! A more integrated, brilliant, enjoyable version of yourself is on the other side!
I, for one, can't wait to meet her! :)
I have a problem with reacting impulsively. Verbally that is.
To my defense I chalk this up to being a "highly intuitive and sensitive child" who kept her perception of the world deep down inside for a LONG time! So now that the pity part is over (almost ;)) and I've found my voice, my emotions, intuitions, judgments, ideas, inspirations now come spewing out on those unexpecting victims I like to call my loved ones at warp speed! :)
Do you know anyone like this? ;)
Now that my feet are beginning to touch the ground, I am learning how to be "in authentic relationship" with other human beings in this earthly realm... and, well, in my earth tone living room.
I'm not talking about the kind of relationship where, you play and role and I play a role...I ignore your shit if you ignore mine. I'm talking about a whole new paradigm of being together...a welcoming, accepting and helping each other transform into more highly evolved individuals who carry the light of the Universe within our very SOULS kind of relationship!
And to be frank...I suck at this!
I'm learning every day and I wanted to share something (pretty drastic) I did this week to keep my impulsivity in check and my relationships in tact! :)
I decided to be silent!
That’s right folks…I am a non-reactionary, all accepting, completely allowing, non-attachment, loving, breathing (a lot of breathing) woman! It can be done. When emotions, reactions, intuitive feelings, judgments, perceptions want to come hurdling out of me at the speed of light (which is quite often, I might add),
take a breath…
acknowledge my feelings (very important),
take responsibility for my own stuff and
And all this in the time it would normally take me to cut someone off, mispercieve their intention, project my own fears, doubts or insecurities on them, and then make some distorted profession of my all knowing, all seeing nature! J
I choose silence!
I get so frustrated when things don’t go MY way! There, I said it! I’m not a natural planner or a very structured person by nature, but when I DO take the time to plan or structure something you better BELIEVE I will have it go my way, or else…unless of course it doesn’t. :)
Have any of you ever had these thoughts? It happened to me twice today…where I planned things in detail and life just kind of laughed at me. I’ll tell you about the first! I hope this story helps you find a little more magic on your own journey.
I planned on my partner getting home at a 10 am this morning. I texted at 9:10 am to make sure he’s on his way (it’s an hour bike ride from where he is). He calls and says it’s going to be another hour and then he’ll ride home! This news obviously puts my carefully planned morning off by at least another hour! Frustrated…I fume…thinking thoughts of blame and judgment…all very productive things to be doing with my time, I know! :) My very efficient, effective and detailed plan of action for the day, ruined! Or was it?
I proceeded to take a breath, calm myself down and focus on what was in front of me…the children, the dishes that need to get done, the grocery list that needs to be made, the never ending piles of laundry that need to be folded and I realized this morning was MEANT to go this way.
How did I know this?
I know my morning was supposed to unfold like it did because…well…it did. To me, this is a comforting thought and you can use it in almost any situation! Now this is not to say that my partner and I can’t discuss and agree on better ways to communicate, but in that moment, I could either keeping fuming about my plans being ruined and my perception of his lack of consideration, OR I could go with it! So I went with it…and you know what? My day only got better and I was even able to see how being put off that hour ended up creating more space and opportunity later in my day…almost as if by magic! It amazing what happens when we learn to get present in our lives!
We are always working with something...a picture...a story greater than our own. When we take the lead and what we plan is right on, it feels amazing! But when it’s not, and the Universe gives you an opportunity to embrace the present moment…take it…you never know where the it will lead you!
I think we underestimate what it means to have peace in our lives! We are so used to living in the fast pace our everyday existence that when we may have a moment to cultivate a little peace, it quickly gets pushed to the back burner along with our slowly deteriorating health and sanity!
One of the words that come up when I ask people how they felt after our session is peace! They experienced a deep sense of peace within themselves. So I wanted to give you three practical things you can do, starting today, to allow more peace into your life! I think you will be amazed at how cultivating a little more peace in your life can reap even bigger benefits for your overall health and happiness.
1) Be Present! Many spiritual traditions call it mindfulness. All this means is to BE PRESENT with what ever is in front of you. If you are making coffee…BE with your coffee making. If you are folding laundry, BE with your laundry! If you working on a project, BE with your project! We’ve developed a sense of “I’m going to miss out” thinking in our society because everything moves so quickly…I mean you can blink and the next version of iPhone has already discounted on Amazon! But because we fail to slow down and actually give our full attention in the moment to our children, our cup of tea, our dinner, our work…we lose out on the potential and magic of the PRESENT. And believe me, when you are able to make your days into a series of “present moments” you will not only begin to experience the limitless potential and magic of existence but a peace that surpasses all understanding! Mmmmmm……
2) Breathe! Simple, yes! So simple that it could be dismissed…but I think by now many of you have already heard the science behind the health benefits of conscious breathing or meditation. But are you aware that breathing can also facilitate more peace in your life as well? Try this: when you are feeling anxiety, stress or tension (or hell, go crazy and use this prior to feeling any physical or metal stressors in your body) J Put your hand over your heart, take a deep belly breath (yes puff out that tummy on the inhale) and hold it for 3 seconds. Then exhale with your hand still over your heart…becoming aware of your breath leaving your body. Do it again bringing even more awareness to your breath. Breathe in peace….breathe out and smile! You did it! Now do it over and over. Get it? Got it? Enjoy it.
3) Go inside! You know those times when you are on overload but you may not be aware of it? It looks something like this…you know you have a ton to do, things need to be getting done but you keep bouncing back and forth between your email and facebook account, thinking of what you need to get done, then, oh the laundry, you get up to do the laundry, then, crap, I need to call this person, wait, did I get a gift for…., online again, “tweet”, shit, I need to pick up the kids! Or maybe you just “space out” at work and fall into habits of procrastination with anything that is a willing participant! J Okay, maybe it’s not that bad but you get the point. We all have time when we feel flustered, discombobulated, restless and just drained! Common practice is to busy yourself so you FEEL like you’re getting something done…so you are being a good little productive busy bee, but in reality our body is telling us to GO INSIDE! Not in the house, but inside yourself. So stop. Sit…bring your awareness back into your body (literally gather the pieces of yourself you’ve left strewn throughout your day back into your body using your imagination). Sit down. Close your eyes. Peace out…and peace in!
“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” but do make sure to ask him a few questions before you continue down the yellow brick road or stop to smell the poppies! :) Call it whatever you’d like, God, Universe, Unlimited Potentiality or The Wizard it is imperative that after surrendering, that you ask questions of the Source of all creative energy! Know that when you do this, you are tapping into the unlimited wealth of knowledge and wisdom that expands before the beginning of time and long after this planet ours returns to dust…stardust that is! :)
Agreed upon now by religious mystics and many quantum scientists, the space-time continuum only exists in our heads! I knew there was a reason I never wore a watch! But, practically, and yes, I said practically (in a way that is useful and sensible), this means we can access the wisdom of the ages and beyond!!! So in order to begin doing this, you need to sit down, shut up and start asking questions (ah, er I mean…place your bum on a soft meditation cushion, quiet your mind and mouth, take a deep breath and) START ASKING QUESTIONS!
Okay, there are a few things you need to know before sitting at the foot of your Inner Wizard:
1) A little bit about how your mind works to access the information
2) The type of questions you should ask
3) What to do after you’ve asked the question
Most of us, from the time we wake up to the time our head hits the pillow, are using our Waking Mind (or Conscious Mind). But did you know we have three other Minds working all the time? Imagine a totem pole…okay, got it…your Waking Mind is somewhere in the middle, your Automatic/Programmed Mind (Subconscious Mind) is underneath it, your Awakening Mind is above it and at the top is the Universal Mind! Here’s the not-so-god news…our Automatic or Programmed Mind is controlling the majority of our Waking Mind (daily interactions, decisions, choices, etc.) and unless you’ve had a completely blissful, peaceful, joyful existence up to this point or learned techniques to reprogram your brain (I have references if you need them :)), your Programmed Mind is doing everything in it’s power to make sure you act in a way that keeps you safe and secure based on your limited past experiences. So if you’re completely blissful with your current life situation then you can stop here, but if you’re like the rest of us and think there might be more love, light and truth to access out there, then read on.
So say you have trouble controlling your food intake. Your Waking Mind asks in desperation in the middle of a box of Oreos, why do I continue to eat and eat and eat even when I know it is not serving my highest interest? Your Programmed Mind is like, “hey sista, life is stressful and we all need a little something to comfort us once in a while…remember that’s what mom used to do and when you were upset.. she would feed you to keep you comfortable and feeling loved!” Thus continues the cycle…eat….comfort….love! Fixed, right? Remember how you surrendered to that power bigger and wiser than yourself. You now know you have complete access to the wisdom of that Power so try this....NOW…okay when you’re done reading this…but today for sure! Sit, get quiet, breathe….breathe….breathe…now imagine your Awakening Mind (Your Intuition) just waiting for you to ask the right question so it can filter wisdom from the Universal Mind so that you can begin acting in a way that serves your highest self and that of those around you. So you breathe…”I am frustrated. I continue to eat when I know it is hurting my body and my mind. Why do I continue to do this to myself?” Try it…and see if you can FEEL a difference in your body when you have the intention of tapping into your inner wisdom…your Awakening Mind…Your Intuition. See what filters through….stay open and know that you have access to the Universal Mind because you are a part of it! I know, out there for some of you, but true! :) Do you feel lighter? More hopeful? Just try it and see…
2) It is important to ask questions that are MEANINGFUL to YOU! This seems obvious, but let’s stick with the food example above to see how easily we betray ourselves. If I’m happy and feeling good about myself but I think I’m supposed to be eating better or look a different way based on what my friends say, who’s on the cover of the newest fashion magazine or for God’s sake even what Dr. Oz has to say (and I love the man), then it’s not going to work because you’re not being true to you. A better question then might be, “why do I feel like I have to ask questions of my higher self that I really don’t give a sh*t about?” Get it? Good. Now we’re getting somewhere! :)
3) And finally, you’ve breathed…and breathed….and breathed…. you’ve tapped into or even just thought about accessing your Awakening Mind (all it takes is the awareness and the intention to “tap in” which you’ve gained just by reading this blog…sweet!). You’ve asked a question that is meaningful to YOU! Good. Great. Now this is the hard part…take another deep breathe and dun, dun, dun….Listen! Coming Soon to a Blog Near You! :)