I've been here before...(have you?)
When I said "yes" to running a drop in center for teenagers for a year,
when I said "yes" to my first teaching job
and when I said "yes" to directing and stage managing a Shakespeare play for my students (ahh..hem...I'm the math teacher, kids)!
All of these times in my life, I knew I was saying "yes" to something bigger than me, something that would require more of me than I thought I was capable of at the time I decided to say "yes." I was saying yes to unknown territory so...
all these "yeses" required me to stay very, very present as I was experiencing them!
And although at the time it felt like I was stepping into the abyss...saying yes to the unknown changed me forever!
The most recent of these moments until now was when I found myself pregnant outside the context of a "conventional relationship" and saying "yes" to this life inside me as well as to the possibility of a relationship with my friend and the father of my child.
I have been stretched, expanded and literally cut open and my insides exposed through this "yes." This yes to a new life has required a kind of presence I've only read about in words of saints, mystics and master meditators! :) And the rest is, well, evolving! :)
This week, I have felt that familiar urge to expand once again...and quite frankly it's freaking me out!
When have you felt like this in your own life? Are you feeling like this now? (your are not alone!!!)
So becasue I'm trying to get this letter out while my children are engaged in something else, I only have a moment and I want to be authentic and somewhat helpful.
Bringing awareness to when this expansion is happening is incredibly important and will save you from that "how did I end up here, again" feeling! :)
So try this!
1) Name what is making you to feel stretched
2) Feel it in your body. Feeling into that fear...into that feeling of I'm not good enough...into what you might have to leave behind if you say "yes."
3) Now feel into the possibility of your own brilliance? Into the present moment and the creation of YOU happening right now? Feel in to the abundance and unlimited potential of you and the Youniverse! :)
4) Now...say "yes!" Jump! Woo hoooo!
This I know...the incredible, benevolent Universe will support your unfolding...your "yes" to the unknown...your "yes" to your awesomeness!
You (and I:)) am crossing the threshhold into more love, more light, more depth, more authenticity and vulnerability! It may feel very raw, but don't turn back!
Stay present and enjoy the ride! A more integrated, brilliant, enjoyable version of yourself is on the other side!
I, for one, can't wait to meet her! :)