Have you ever thought of writing a family mission statement or a list of family agreements? Do you encourage your children to participate in the process? I would love to hear your family's or your own personal declaration for how you CHOOSE to embody this life! Please leave a comment below or on Facebook!
I have healthy kids. Many of us do. As my weewomen have gotten older, I’ve realized just how healthy they are. My oldest is almost 4 and a half and my youngest 3 and I can count the number of times they have been sick on one hand. We have never taken medications or any prescriptions so when they are “sick” it is processed through their bodies quickly and efficiently.
Here are 5 things you can do starting tomorrow to keep your kiddos healthy as well. I am not a doctor, in fact my children have not been to the doctor in over a year (or two?), not even for a well baby check up, so of course this advice is contingent on your own beliefs and best judgment when caring for your own children.
1) Let them sleep! I let my kids sleep in as long as they want and if I can’t because we have school or work, I make sure I balance it out at the end of the day.
Example: If they have to get up an hour earlier than their body normally wakes them up because we have a commitment, and bedtime is at 8, we start bedtime routine earlier and they are in bed by 7. Yes, this means that I do not jam pack our days full of obligations and commitments. We do less with more attention and go slower. Zenhabits.net is a great resource for learning to do less with more meaning. Our health is my number one priority as Mama Bear and that sometimes means missing out on events that others make time for. It totally worth it!
2) Eat organic whole foods and green things!
If you do not know by reading the ingredients what is in your food put it back! Check out www.ewg.org for some awesome resources on how to by food products and much much more! Here is a link to the Dirty Dozen list if you haven’t’ heard of it yet. Also find ways to get greens in your kids. Mine tend to eat little bits raw, sometimes in smoothies and I know other Mamas that bake them into brownies. I put an array for fruits and vegetables out at most meals so they can choose and try different things when they are ready. Let your kids pick a weird looking vegetable or fruit at the grocery store to try. Today my girls picked a red cabbage and a turnip. We got a thumbs up for the red cabbage and none of us were too fond of the turnip so I’ll chop it up with our garlic.
Full transparency for those on a budget or state benefits: When I was on the State’s health insurance and nutritional assistance program with my second child, I STILL bought mostly organic milk, meat and produce. When things were tight, I bought quality not quantity to make sure we were getting the food with the most nourishment. In our state you can also use nutritional assistance and WIC at local farmer’s markets. If this is your status…DO IT! It is the health of your family you are investing in and don’t worry about the looks people might give you for “indulging” in organic products! Think about all the money you’ll be saving everyone in the long run, including you, by having a healthy immune system and family!
3) Ignore the “it’s that time of the year” talk!
The biggest hurdle I have found to creating healthy bodies for my little family is the deeply entrenched beliefs and mindset we have about…allergy season, cold season, flu season, back-to-school sickness, holiday illness…. YOU NAME IT…and the list goes on! I even hear parents repeatedly say, “oh, well, it’s about time we get sick again, we’ve been well for 2, 3 4 weeks!” WTF?!!! If beliefs are your biggest hurdle to health, let me know and I’ll hook you up with some resources to get on that!
Nevermind that we bond over our ailments because hey, it’s something we can all relate to, right?! Wrong! I leave conversations that are focused on illness and commiserating about symptoms and dismiss the belief that, well, that’s just life! No, I choose health over building relationships based on sickness. Oh goodness, don’t get me started! :)
When my children come home having ingested some of these beliefs I just remind them, that although many people get sick, we take very good care of our bodies by eating right, sleeping and exercising/playing to stay healthy. That does the trick so far!
4) Drop the sugar! (take a spoon full of honey during “__” season!)
There is absolutely no reason to feed your children sugary snacks on a regular basis. Teach your children that sugar makes your body weak (because it does). It lowers your immune system and makes every system weaker…and I’m not talking huge amounts of sugar. Set limits and educate yourself and your children. Teach them that fruit is sweet and with all the natural sugar alternatives out there now this does not have to be hard.
We eat cookies and cakes and ice cream. We indulge sometimes in brownies and suckers AND we talk about how our bodies feel before, during and after so that they (and always a good reminder for me as well) are aware of how certain things feel. Instead of making sugar a daily reality, turn it into a science experiment and observe and discuss. Today my eldest told me when we went to the grocery store where she is sometimes allowed to use her Kids Club card to get a free cookie, “Mom, I think I just want one cookie because one I feel fine and two makes me crazy!” I’m glad she has this wisdom in her body at a young age. Oh and a spoonful of local raw honey in the morning and before bed.
5) Allow your children to express their emotions!
What do emotions have to do with keeping my children healthy, you ask? More and more research is being done on the direct link between how we process our emotions and the types of illnesses we create in our bodies. There are many books written about this topic. Check out one of Dr. Carolyn Myss’s books from your local library or find a B.E.S.T. practitioner in your area and ask questions. That’s where I started but, there are many other resources out there.
Now speaking practically, our children’s emotions, especially negative emotions, and especially in young children who are less able to regulate their own emotions, usually cause one of two reaction in parents:
1) Fix it, relieve it, soothe it to make it stop because,e let’s be honest, it sucks and hurts our bodies sometimes to see our children upset, angry, sad, frustrated (we call these “yuckies” in our house)
2) Cut it off, squelch it, silence it, forcefully with words or actions bring the behavior and related emotion to a sudden halt because it triggers something in us that is uncomfortable to be with.
Do this instead.
How to deal with strong uncomfortable emotions with your children for maximum health:
1) Don’t give a shit what other people think. :)
2) Breathe…..and again breathe to literally relax your own nervous system so that you can actually do steps 3-5.
3) Acknowledge your own feeling in the moment
"I feel sad or pissed, etc"
4) Acknowledge your child’s feeling whether you agree with it (the behavior or feeling) or not.
“You look upset. I see you throwing your toys on the floor.”
5) Then BE. Just imagine yourself creating a space, a bubble if you will, from your very own heart and this bubble encapsulates you and your child and inside is a feeling of safety and unconditional love. No words or actions are necessary (unless safety is a concern). I’ve done this in the middle of the store during a tantrum. Allow your child to be held and accepted, crazy tantrum and all, in this energetic space until, yes…the emotion let’s go of your child. Most emotions pass in a minute and a half if left to be processed through the body rather than fixed or pushed down. Allow it to do it’s job so that it doesn’t’ get stuck and make your child sick. We have all experienced the results of suppressed emotions in our adult life, aware or not, it is not a pretty sight when they finally surface. Allow your child to feel and then be free. <3
Of course articles and books have been written about all these topics so I cannot do them justice in one blog post, but it felt important to get at least a little bit of information out to those who may need it right now.
And of course all these safe, holistic practices also work wonders for grown-up kids too! ;)
I appreciate myself.
Happy New Year! This post is inspired (read poured onto my notebook) by the 10th week and final week of The Presence Process. If you often find yourself seeking appreciation and approval of what you do, what you know or who you"be" in this crazy world this post is for you. Through writing this, I was able to FINALLY feel and embody appreciation of myself last Thursday morning. Perhaps you won't have to take yourself though such an intense process and purging in order to embody this by writing your own letter.
I appreciate that you lose sleep over minor injustices done to kids on the playground and brainstorm ways to make it right in the wee hours of the morning.
I appreciate that you see clearly the illusion of separation between humans as well as between humans and nature. I appreciate that you try to fill in the gap with love, acceptance and truth and fiercely commit to shaking people (however ineffective sometimes) from their slumber.
I appreciate that you feel things deeply, sometimes painfully, blissfully and almost always viscerally. I appreciate that you attempt to communicate these Oneness experiences with the intent that others may understand the ridiculousness of continuing the belief of the illusion of our separation.
I appreciate that although you fail over and over in filling this gap...bridging the worlds, that you continue to try over and over (many times to your own detriment and that of your family).
I appreciate the purity of your intentions and motivations.
I appreciate the love you feel to and through your bones for humanity and the earth.
I appreciate that it feels hard sometimes to not have this recognized consistently by the outer world.
I now give you permission to just be.
You have in your body the perpetual feeling of love for other and world, I now give you permission to stop trying,
to stop filling,
to stop bridging,
to stop fighting,
to stop sharing,
to stop talking,
to stop proving,
to stop giving away the love and peace and presence that has been gifted you from God and the Universe.
I give you permission to hold that love, presence and peace in the chambers of your physical body,
allowing them to filter through every system, replenishing and growing to overflow so that your be-ing becomes a natural expression of service, love and peace wherever you go.
Rest now, love.
I feel impatient with where the energy goes when tragedy strikes. We all know that even though this is gut wrenchingly horrific, children and women have long been the victims of war and unimaginable violence as long as we've had a "civilized" society. I know that many of us have felt this in our bodies for a lifetime and most of us many lifetimes. Do we really think changing policies, long drawn out discussions about what kind of language to use and when about gun control and mental health are the issues? Or even something close to my heart parenting and our educational system? All of these "systems" have their roots in the collective soul conscious of humanity. For me this outward manifestation of violence is a reflection of my own inner violence... the hateful inner dialogue I speak to my body and about my frailties, the raging thoughts I have towards my kids when I feel lacking and unsupported, sickening and foul impulses that infiltrate my bio system from living in a world of mass media driven violence soup, no matter how hard I try to shield myself. You continue to take in the eyes of a sensationalized killer and my body shivers with hatred and fear. We are one. I am one with the victims as much as the killer. I must heal myself so that others my heal and live. I encourage you to do the same for the sake of our children and our planet.
(regarding the tragedy and lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School)
You are so in love with your life!
I know you are! Many of you have already figured out how to "love" your life, to do good to the people around you, even go above and beyond to call of everyday mortal being-ness to helping others less fortunate than yourselves which you've realized just happens to make you feel good too! Bonus! :)
Come to think of it, your life is AWESOME!
You really have NO REASON TO COMPLAIN!
You're pretty much a bad ass, mama jama with a smile on your face if you do say so yourself!
But I see you! I see you in all your awesomeness AND I see your leaks!
Yep! You've got leaks. Energetic leaks!
In the quiet of you're own soul...maybe at night as you're drifting off, you think to yourself, "I've got NOTHING to complain about! “
But there must be more (leak)…"
You’re happy. You love your family, Your friends. Others may even envy your job situation! You even find a few hours a month to dabble in your own creativity or nurture your soul…
but you still think...there was that one thing I always thought I’d do (leak)…
And yet you quickly shut that "selfish" voice up because you have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!
people starving in Africa, hell, starving in our own streets...
with thousands of people out of work
veterans coming back from war physically and emotionally paralyzed,
women and children dying of preventable illnesses and unthinkable abuse EVERY DAY
I am doin’ A-O-K thank you very much!
I hear you AND the world needs more of you! That voice you hear at night, that quiet apathy of “settling” is
the voice of your inner wise one…
the voice of Mother Earth whispering “I’m dying,”
the voice of the Great Spirit ready to support you in stepping into the fullest realization of your gifts and dreams for the benefit of the whole!
The hungry, unemployed, wounded and dying NEED you to do the work your soul is calling you to do now!
If no one has told you yet, NOW IS THE TIME!
What is YOUR heart calling you to do? What is your soul urging you to step into?
I would love for you to share below and empower others to do the same!
I love you and I’m holding your hand and I know you're holding mine!
For lifetime upon lifetime I was nurtured, grown, groomed, prompted, forced, beaten, raped and tortured, encouraged and demanded, patronized and cohered into being a very strong and powerful woman. In THIS lifetime, being a strong and powerful woman has meant fitting into the masculine archetype, structure, idea and reality of what strong and powerful mean. My body is beginning to violently reject the generations of control and even the subtle (cordial) manipulations of our current time and space.
I forgot my indigenous and tribal roots! My natural and animalistic blueprint that burns from the depth of my being… “You have given life to ALL!”
Today I remember.
I let my rage, anger and fear teach me. I allow it to come to the surface, be expressed! I have felt remorse and become curious…
Curious about “why” it was even there and “how” to tame it (NO MORE TAMING)!
And I felt, really felt and I remembered…and I lived….and I learned ...am learning.
In this lifetime I am again made to be a strong and powerful, influential leader! Yet there are no maidens waiting to brush and braid my hair, bath my body and anoint my feet. There is no one to tighten my corset and arrange my features in a statuesque manner as to please the men and masses.
It is up to me to care, to take extreme and luscious care of myself.
This is my work.
I have ruled over souls and kingdoms. I have been the muse and master. I have been the willing courtisane and confidant of many through which my hidden voice made it to the ears that mattered.
Yet I have never ruled over my own body.
This is my work.
I have held meetings in public and in secret, led counsels, kept schedules and agendas to meet the expectations of armies and royalty. I have had time and space handed to me on an elusive golden platter that dictated my comings and goings to the good of all!
And now my body yearns for timelessness.
My body desires to feel safe enough to relax, receive and return to it the compassion that sustained empires.
And that is my work.
To dispel the illusion of my own mind and practice – every day and every moment caring immaculately for my own body, mind and soul.
To relax into my reality to allow the show to go on…because it must.
It must go on and I am the river, trees, mountains, caves and fields of wildflowers through which it lives.
My body, my sacred system cared for exquisitely can and will contain the illusion as it undoes itself.
No more fighting. No more rage.
I’m often asked, how did you do it? Do what, I think to myself, before I remember that the vast majority of people living on this planet are STILL not doing what they love!!!
My response, once I remember I’m living a life that most people still think is not possible, is always, I got pregnant!
I am recommending that ya’ll get pregnant!
But really, I was reflecting on, when the Universe (okay and a couple beers, a hookah pipe and my handsome willing baby daddy) conspired to help me become “with child,”
WHY was this the time I decided to strike out on my own creating my own business?
To some that might seem like the craziest time to take such a big risk!
We’ll it was and it wasn’t. My life was the most unstable it a had ever been having NOT chosen a traditional way to start a family
AND I was taking better care of my body, mind and soul than I ever had in my whole life!
Did you hear that?! I was making myself….body, mind and soul a PRIORITY!!!
I knew how important it was to create an environment for this little one growing inside of me that was nurturing, healthy and loving and so I became grounded in myself for the first time!
Granted, I was doing for someone else (thank you, Louisa!) but I was doing it and that’s when I was able to hear.
This is when I felt and heard the call to something much bigger than myself!
I had always known I had something bigger to offer but this time the feeling in my body gave me no choice but to act on creating the pathway to more love and greatness!
Did you hear that women (and you self sacrificing, over-giving men)!!! The more care I showed myself the louder the calling to do my heart work in the world became!!!
So if you’re ready to figure out what your heart work really is and you have no idea where to start…get pregnant!
Or don’t and just go
drink a green smoothie,
think positive loving thoughts towards yourself and your body,
indulge in relaxation,
go to bed early,
drink lots of water
allow others to take care of you and
open up to the possibility of birthing your own “heart work” into the world!
Short and Sweet! Here they are! I am at your service if you feel that subtle or wild nudging to begin living your life from your heart too!
1) I invested in myself! Yep, I hired a coach! AND it was someone who was living a life of service, love, passion and had already attained the financial goals I was seeking! So, was it a stretch for me? Yes! But was it worth the stretching? Absolutely! Making this commitment to myself made me put my physical energy (money and body) and ethereal energy (thoughts, emotions and spirit) into action every single day!
2) I stayed in the flow. Throughout the process, I listened to my own body, intuition and instincts! I said yes to myself and trusted completely where I was being led in every moment! I stayed present and listened to where I was being led. This does indeed take time and practice AND it's completely possible now!
3) I let myself be seen! I can't serve more people if I'm hiding in stalker mode on facebook! :) I consistently allowed myself to be seen and did things I was uncomfortable with that stretched me as a spiritual and physical being. I allowed myself to be more vulnerable, to possible fail or be rejected (like here when I went into hiding for a year lol). But I cannot serve in a bigger way and build a world I want my children to live in if I am not speaking the truth I KNOW deep down in my soul! We are here to live our unique "heart work!" To love this world in a way only we know how in order to create a more present, pleasurable and peaceful way of being for ALL!
Okay...now get to work! :) Love, love, love!
Heart Work Checklist!
_____Do you generally feel happy, but feel like your gifts are being underused or wasted supporting someone else.
_____Do you feel constricted in your body or mind at work or in certain professional relationships?
_____Are you beginning to worry that your childhood dreams may not be fulfilled if you continue of the road you are on?
_____Is your physical and mental health suffering because of your current job or related relationships?
______Are you in a pattern of go-go-go and then crash?
______Do you have a nagging feeling that there MUST be something more?
If you answered a resounding YES to 3 or more of these questions then you may very well be at a perfect energetic state to make a quantum shift in your life to live more joy, love and peace through creating your “heart work!”
Woo hoo! The world needs you!
I’m making some bold claims…not for the weary!
"Let me put it this way...it is foolish and arrogant of us to think that we could ever DO ANYTHING to upset the almighty creator of everything that was, is and will ever be!!!
I believe all experiences we have in life are just leading us closer and closer to oursleves! You are blessed and that God and the Universe are deeply and madly in love with you! We all have our own journeys s to travel and you are traveling yours perfectly!
I believe that God/Source looks at us like little children and if we are on the wrong road the Universe/Souce will gently guide us back to the path that is for our highest purpose. If we don't listen to the gentle whispering it gets louder and louder but NOT in the form of FEAR based beliefs of other people or a society saturated in sacrificial doctrine. It tends to manifest in our bodies and makes us sick or we have an accident or unfortunate coinsidence that is like a slap in the face! Either way, we need to listen and start tuning ourselves into the whispering so we get "slapped in the face" less and less. :)
Your only job is to LISTEN and TRUST (then of course act)! Listen to what the Universe is telling you! How?
What makes you FEEL alive and whole?
What excites you?
What is fun and makes you feel...expansive?
Likewise, pay attention to the times when you are feeling
you are NOT enjoying what is going on.
Those feelings are your key! How did you feel at the work? School? With a certain person? At a specific religious service? That is your clue about whether or not that choice was right for you. If it was FEAR that you are doing something wrong or are not going in the right direction it is definitely the not the right choice for your life! Pay attention to that first subtle clue in your body….don’t wait until you get sick! That is FALSEHOOD and the opposite of LOVE and expansiveness. You can always choose love!!!
You are right where you need to be. If there are things in your life you are questioning...pay attention to how they feel in your body...then have the courage to trust yourself and move forward whether it is in alignment with these things (whether it's a relationship, living situation, or job) or without. The Universe will rise to meet you as you move into being more and more...well...you! :)
Trust the love inside of you! Let's build this foundation of love (not fear) together!!!"