Winter time…a time for getting quiet, going inside and nurturing the “knowingness” within.  What?  Did I just describe the way all of you spent your December?  Man, I am all for holidays…starting with a beautiful Hanukkah that came early this year, the advent and Christmas season and our friends even had a Kwanza party this year!!!  I love the traditions and rituals, celebrations and feeling of community this time of year brings but, holy menorah, with all the focus on external events and people I seem to have lost my grounding…and in a season when many of nature's creatures go underground, I definitely need to at least come in for a landing! :)

Moving into the New Year is an incredible time to set goals, make promises, craft resolutions and I hope all of you are at least paying some conscious attentions to purposefully creating your 2011!  This week, I want to make sure that these intentions are coming from an authentic place and not one of “have to” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” or based on others, society’s or cultural expectations!  Your goals and intentions for the New Year should come from that place inside you that is genuinely, whole-heartedly YOU!  This is the only way they will continue to hold any weight and be motivation to keep growing throughout the year and one the best ways you can find that quiet place of “knowingness” inside you is to pay attention to YOURSELF…to take care of yourself.  So as the external hoopla dies down, return to that place within, just like the winter creatures and find out what it is you really want for yourself, your family, your community and ultimately for your world this New Year.  Here are some suggestions that I will be using myself this week (Note my fellow perfectionists and OCD prone peeps - notice how I don’t have to get this all done by the Eve of December 31st…just use the energy that is present in this week and this season to get clear about what is in your heart for 2011 :)). Got it?  Okay, let’s proceed!

1)    Take quiet time for yourself – Seems obvious, but how many of us when taking time for ourselves FILL it with work, facebook/twitter stalking, reading, talking on the phone…let’s face it, many of us will find anything to not have to be alone with, well, ourselves.  But in order to HEAR your insides (intuition, heart’s desires, etc) you’ve got to face the monster and yes, BE with YOURSELF.  Sit, breathe, drink tea, go for a walk, do yoga, sit, think….breathe, meditate, drink coffee, breathe...I think you get it. 

2)    T-t-t-ouch yourself –Take a soothing bubble bath, give yourself a massage (foot, face, shoulders, whatever), file and paint your own nails, tickle your own arm (remember doing that as a kid J), put on clothes that make you feel safe and nurtured, brush your hair just because, rub lotion on your legs and really pay attention while you’re doing it.  Yes, it’s great to go to the spa, but doing these simple self care rituals for ourselves and actually BEING PRESENT while we’re doing them, often unlocks dormant desires and intentions that may not have been allowed to come to the surface.

3)    Have FUN!!!  Do something that makes you giggle, smile, dance, squeal, sing, twirl, shake with joy, really LAUGH OUT LOUD (not just LOL) and enjoy what your inner child and wisest self has to tell you about what you REALLY want!

Now quick, go write it all down before midnight and get to work! :)

Wishing everyone an inspired, joyful and purposefully productive 2011!

Isn't it amazing...the people we love the most are the ones who are sometimes the hardest to get along with.  I believe this has more to do with energy than the fact that we just "take things out" on the people that are closest to us.  I believe that these people, whether our spouses, partners, parents or children, are our closest companions because they are here to mirror back to us the things we most need to learn about ourselves.  The conflict or hardship we experience in these relationships is only a whisper from the Universe to look inside.  It is our job to transform the energy of conflict, frustration and habitual behavior into something our bodies, minds and souls can integrate more easily into our ever evolving self.  So how do we allow this learning to take place when we know WE ARE RIGHT? ;)

STOP TALKING AND BECOME AWARE
Since every relationship in your life is only a mirror of what is on the inside and the lessons you are here to learn, we can take every encounter with another, positive, negative or neutral in stride.  We can CHOOSE to be an observer, not of the other but of ourselves, since this is really the only person we have direct control over.  So, let's take a stressful or heated discussion with a loved one for an example (it is the holidays after all ;)). 

You have within your power to control the energy of the encounter should you choose to.  A little know secret is energy can be moved, transformed, manipulated at our will...I know that's out there for some of you, but bare with me.  So the encounter is getting heated...first, stop (talking) and be honest with yourself...you can FEEL once a conversation hits a certain point and it no longer serving the best interest of either party.  Be honest with yourself and FORGIVE yourself and the other person for, well being HUMAN and ALLOW and ACCEPT that fact!  We all let things get out of hand some :)  I know, tough first step for some of us...I know it is for me.

BREATHE...YES, BREATHE
Now this is where you might begin getting a couple of stares...but that's okay, because if you want to be at the forefront of nurturing conscious healthy relationships, you may have to FEEL a little weird. :)  So, after you've become aware of the situation...take a few deep, belly breaths (there's that breathing thing again).  Let the party goers around you are your kids look at you funny, in about 10 seconds, you're going to have more control over everything because you've shifted your OWN ENERGY by BREATHING....okay, better?  Now you can move forward from a place that is a little more centered (figuratively and literally...from your belly and heart to be exact).:)

MOVE...SMILE...LAUGH...TOUCH...
Once you are back in your body and out of your head (thank you beautiful breath), and this is where others may not notice but you may feel a little awkward, maybe even vulnerable (I know it's a dirty word for some of us;))... DO SOMETHING!  Stay committed to not talking, and move (away if necessary), smile (that's when you move both corners of your mouth towards your eyebrows), laugh (if the moment moves you) or touch, yes, touch the other person...give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder or if you feel they are still a little "prickly" give yourself a squeeze! :) You will be amazed at how movement, however small, will continue to transform the moment...our bodies are sooooo smart!  If the other person can't quite FEEL the shift in energy yet, I like to put my hands together (or hug myself if I'm feeling daring) and assure myself I have taken care of my own stuff through breathing, therefore getting back in my body and releasing the blocked energy through movement.  It's amazing how quickly the other person will come around once you've shifted your own energy!

So cheers to the amazing people in our lives who continue to bring about experiences that allow us to take responsibility for our own, ah hem, crap!  And cheers to YOU for beginning to breathe and move and laugh again!!!  You surely are changing the world one relationship at at time!  Namaste!

So many of us believe that we are inherently uncreative – is that even a word?  I’m not artistic, or musical or crafty!  Okay, that’s fine but the truth is WE ARE CREATORS!  We create our own realities EVERY DAY whether we are conscious of it or not!  So I thought this week, especially during a season of anticipated (and dreaded) family gatherings, celebratory( and overwhelming) community events, spirited (and crowded) shopping malls and peaceful (and anxiety causing) worship services you might want to know how you can CREATE the experiences you TRULY DESIRE rather than be at the mercy of whatever happens; be it Mom’s seemingly harmless comments rubbing you the wrong way or an out of touch religious figure whose musings put you just over the edge!  Learning how your energy effects create-ivity will allow you to feel a little more in control of this season that is truly filled with much, much light!

So here it is…two things:

1)    You CAN consciously create your reality!

2)    There is a state of subtle energy YOU MUST REACH BEFORE you can CONSCIOUSLY begin creating your reality! (This is what The Secret left out!)

Before you can go into your family gathering with the expectation and vision of a peaceful and fun event, you must first be in a state of internal well-being, allowance or some say of acceptance of whatever the outcome.   You must know and FEEL in your gut that no matter what happens, YOU are able to be well, to allow, what is taking place without it affecting your inner peace and stability!  Sound hard?  It is…at first…but then it becomes more and more a part of you.  AND THEN THAT PLACE of acceptance you can begin to consciously imagine the all the kids playing peacefully together, Uncle Roy knowing his alcohol limits and maybe even that pastor actually shedding some light on subject matter you’ve recently been pondering yourself!  Create that!