Isn't it amazing...the people we love the most are the ones who are sometimes the hardest to get along with. I believe this has more to do with energy than the fact that we just "take things out" on the people that are closest to us. I believe that these people, whether our spouses, partners, parents or children, are our closest companions because they are here to mirror back to us the things we most need to learn about ourselves. The conflict or hardship we experience in these relationships is only a whisper from the Universe to look inside. It is our job to transform the energy of conflict, frustration and habitual behavior into something our bodies, minds and souls can integrate more easily into our ever evolving self. So how do we allow this learning to take place when we know WE ARE RIGHT? ;)
STOP TALKING AND BECOME AWARE
Since every relationship in your life is only a mirror of what is on the inside and the lessons you are here to learn, we can take every encounter with another, positive, negative or neutral in stride. We can CHOOSE to be an observer, not of the other but of ourselves, since this is really the only person we have direct control over. So, let's take a stressful or heated discussion with a loved one for an example (it is the holidays after all ;)).
You have within your power to control the energy of the encounter should you choose to. A little know secret is energy can be moved, transformed, manipulated at our will...I know that's out there for some of you, but bare with me. So the encounter is getting heated...first, stop (talking) and be honest with yourself...you can FEEL once a conversation hits a certain point and it no longer serving the best interest of either party. Be honest with yourself and FORGIVE yourself and the other person for, well being HUMAN and ALLOW and ACCEPT that fact! We all let things get out of hand some :) I know, tough first step for some of us...I know it is for me.
Now this is where you might begin getting a couple of stares...but that's okay, because if you want to be at the forefront of nurturing conscious healthy relationships, you may have to FEEL a little weird. :) So, after you've become aware of the situation...take a few deep, belly breaths (there's that breathing thing again). Let the party goers around you are your kids look at you funny, in about 10 seconds, you're going to have more control over everything because you've shifted your OWN ENERGY by BREATHING....okay, better? Now you can move forward from a place that is a little more centered (figuratively and literally...from your belly and heart to be exact).:)
Once you are back in your body and out of your head (thank you beautiful breath), and this is where others may not notice but you may feel a little awkward, maybe even vulnerable (I know it's a dirty word for some of us;))... DO SOMETHING! Stay committed to not talking, and move (away if necessary), smile (that's when you move both corners of your mouth towards your eyebrows), laugh (if the moment moves you) or touch, yes, touch the other person...give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder or if you feel they are still a little "prickly" give yourself a squeeze! :) You will be amazed at how movement, however small, will continue to transform the moment...our bodies are sooooo smart! If the other person can't quite FEEL the shift in energy yet, I like to put my hands together (or hug myself if I'm feeling daring) and assure myself I have taken care of my own stuff through breathing, therefore getting back in my body and releasing the blocked energy through movement. It's amazing how quickly the other person will come around once you've shifted your own energy!
So cheers to the amazing people in our lives who continue to bring about experiences that allow us to take responsibility for our own, ah hem, crap! And cheers to YOU for beginning to breathe and move and laugh again!!! You surely are changing the world one relationship at at time! Namaste!