Eden of My Heart

I’m crying as I begin to write this.


I’ve been trying to find a way to express to all of you what I soaked up, practiced and learned at Eden Unplugged last week.  There is so much I want to tell you but as I sit to write, my heart is heavy because writing this means I am no longer there…for reals.


I’m no longer sitting naked in the healing waters of the hot springs, I am no longer in the warm shelter of my tent/soul mate mama, I am no longer listening, connecting, crying, hugging, eye gazing, dancing and holding space with the beautiful souls I was fortunate enough to cross paths with on this desert in the journey.


Smiling through the tears now.


As I sit hear in my local coffee shop sipping a matte latte with a scarf I wore most of the time at Eden wrapped around my shoulders (I may never wash this thing again), trying to keep the hip barista guy from seeing proof of sorrow streaming down my face, I feel an incredible energy and hopefulness!   My experience at Eden has proven to me that the world I have dreamed of all my life (and somewhat lived in, if only in my head :)) IS possible!  We CAN be and love, allow and accept, create and fall apart with each other…in community! 


We no longer have to live in the illusion of isolation!


You can be who you really are…all of you… naked and raw, vulnerable and brilliant and it will be okay...it will be enough!


Writing this, honoring what I said I would do when I got back and sharing what I have learned, is calling me out of that space in my heart I have not wanted to let go of for the past 11 days…so thank you for holding me to my promise to share…I will, in depth and in all the amazingness that is Eden and Eden unplugged share more!  For now, thank you for allowing me this moment to grieve the physical experience of Eden so that I can begin to, with your help, manifest the spirit of Eden in the real world! Woo hoo!


I think it will seep out through these messages over the next few weeks but if there is one lesson to take away and one I am learning through this process of reintegration into the “default” world, it is honor where you are.   If you feel yourself, trying, pulling, pushing, straining, feeling the “have tos” and shoulds…stop…no seriously,


Stop...


Take a deep belly breath….


Allow whatever you are feeling to just be.  Allow yourself to feel it in your body and feel it and feel it and FEEL IT until the Universe has squeezed every last beautiful, sparkling nourishing tear from you and then…


Listen... listen close to the Eden of YOUR heart! 


Let’s build it together! 


I’m in!  Are you?