"Suck It Up" Doesn't Work

So about three months ago, after taking a couple years to work part time gigs to help pay the bills (oh and have babies!)…I got a REAL job!  It was a job I went to school for…practical, financially stable, it would allow me to “work from home” although I would not be able to BE PRESENT with my children, but really from the outside it looked like the perfect opportunity for a “single mom” looking to support herself and two kids!  My parents were happy, my baby daddy was happy, my friends were happy for me, and I was…well…relieved to have the pressure off!

 
So I went to the orientation.  I walked into the building ready to take on this new challenge that seemed, by all external measures to be an answer to prayers…but as soon as I entered the room with all the other employees I got nauseas…anxious…shaky… so much so that I had to walk outside.  I chalked it up to having been a stay-at-home mom for the last two years and nerves about starting a new job.  I tried to “suck it up” and the next 3 days of orientation were like torture internally for me but I continued work another month disregarding every fiber of my being screaming that I made a wrong turn.

 
I eventually figured out this was a life changing turning point for me.  I was in the midst of discerning whether or not to begin doing the healing work I KNEW I was meant to do, but which meant starting my own business (something I knew little to nothing about).  But in that moment (and following month of torture J) I realized that I wanted so much more for my life and my girls!  I didn’t want them to grow up watching their mother settle for less happiness than we all deserve and so I left.  I left and I turned back towards the path I knew was for me…and it worked!!! The Universe supports us!  God knows our hearts and guess what…if you listen (especially to your body…a direct conduit of Light) you will begin to know your own heart too and together, with that Source Energy that gives life to EVERYTHING, will create the most beautiful life you can imagine!  So cheers to letting go of fear and to the external and honoring the innate wisdom that lies at the center of each of us!