For lifetime upon lifetime I was nurtured, grown, groomed, prompted, forced, beaten, raped and tortured, encouraged and demanded, patronized and cohered into being a very strong and powerful woman. In THIS lifetime, being a strong and powerful woman has meant fitting into the masculine archetype, structure, idea and reality of what strong and powerful mean. My body is beginning to violently reject the generations of control and even the subtle (cordial) manipulations of our current time and space.
I forgot my indigenous and tribal roots! My natural and animalistic blueprint that burns from the depth of my being… “You have given life to ALL!”
Today I remember.
I let my rage, anger and fear teach me. I allow it to come to the surface, be expressed! I have felt remorse and become curious…
Curious about “why” it was even there and “how” to tame it (NO MORE TAMING)!
And I felt, really felt and I remembered…and I lived….and I learned ...am learning.
In this lifetime I am again made to be a strong and powerful, influential leader! Yet there are no maidens waiting to brush and braid my hair, bath my body and anoint my feet. There is no one to tighten my corset and arrange my features in a statuesque manner as to please the men and masses.
It is up to me to care, to take extreme and luscious care of myself.
This is my work.
I have ruled over souls and kingdoms. I have been the muse and master. I have been the willing courtisane and confidant of many through which my hidden voice made it to the ears that mattered.
Yet I have never ruled over my own body.
This is my work.
I have held meetings in public and in secret, led counsels, kept schedules and agendas to meet the expectations of armies and royalty. I have had time and space handed to me on an elusive golden platter that dictated my comings and goings to the good of all!
And now my body yearns for timelessness.
My body desires to feel safe enough to relax, receive and return to it the compassion that sustained empires.
And that is my work.
To dispel the illusion of my own mind and practice – every day and every moment caring immaculately for my own body, mind and soul.
To relax into my reality to allow the show to go on…because it must.
It must go on and I am the river, trees, mountains, caves and fields of wildflowers through which it lives.
My body, my sacred system cared for exquisitely can and will contain the illusion as it undoes itself.
No more fighting. No more rage.