Winter time…a time for getting quiet, going inside and nurturing the “knowingness” within. What? Did I just describe the way all of you spent your December? Man, I am all for holidays…starting with a beautiful Hanukkah that came early this year, the advent and Christmas season and our friends even had a Kwanza party this year!!! I love the traditions and rituals, celebrations and feeling of community this time of year brings but, holy menorah, with all the focus on external events and people I seem to have lost my grounding…and in a season when many of nature's creatures go underground, I definitely need to at least come in for a landing! :)
Moving into the New Year is an incredible time to set goals, make promises, craft resolutions and I hope all of you are at least paying some conscious attentions to purposefully creating your 2011! This week, I want to make sure that these intentions are coming from an authentic place and not one of “have to” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” or based on others, society’s or cultural expectations! Your goals and intentions for the New Year should come from that place inside you that is genuinely, whole-heartedly YOU! This is the only way they will continue to hold any weight and be motivation to keep growing throughout the year and one the best ways you can find that quiet place of “knowingness” inside you is to pay attention to YOURSELF…to take care of yourself. So as the external hoopla dies down, return to that place within, just like the winter creatures and find out what it is you really want for yourself, your family, your community and ultimately for your world this New Year. Here are some suggestions that I will be using myself this week (Note my fellow perfectionists and OCD prone peeps - notice how I don’t have to get this all done by the Eve of December 31st…just use the energy that is present in this week and this season to get clear about what is in your heart for 2011 :)). Got it? Okay, let’s proceed! 1) Take quiet time for yourself – Seems obvious, but how many of us when taking time for ourselves FILL it with work, facebook/twitter stalking, reading, talking on the phone…let’s face it, many of us will find anything to not have to be alone with, well, ourselves. But in order to HEAR your insides (intuition, heart’s desires, etc) you’ve got to face the monster and yes, BE with YOURSELF. Sit, breathe, drink tea, go for a walk, do yoga, sit, think….breathe, meditate, drink coffee, breathe...I think you get it. 2) T-t-t-ouch yourself –Take a soothing bubble bath, give yourself a massage (foot, face, shoulders, whatever), file and paint your own nails, tickle your own arm (remember doing that as a kid J), put on clothes that make you feel safe and nurtured, brush your hair just because, rub lotion on your legs and really pay attention while you’re doing it. Yes, it’s great to go to the spa, but doing these simple self care rituals for ourselves and actually BEING PRESENT while we’re doing them, often unlocks dormant desires and intentions that may not have been allowed to come to the surface. 3) Have FUN!!! Do something that makes you giggle, smile, dance, squeal, sing, twirl, shake with joy, really LAUGH OUT LOUD (not just LOL) and enjoy what your inner child and wisest self has to tell you about what you REALLY want! Now quick, go write it all down before midnight and get to work! :) Wishing everyone an inspired, joyful and purposefully productive 2011!
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Isn't it amazing...the people we love the most are the ones who are sometimes the hardest to get along with. I believe this has more to do with energy than the fact that we just "take things out" on the people that are closest to us. I believe that these people, whether our spouses, partners, parents or children, are our closest companions because they are here to mirror back to us the things we most need to learn about ourselves. The conflict or hardship we experience in these relationships is only a whisper from the Universe to look inside. It is our job to transform the energy of conflict, frustration and habitual behavior into something our bodies, minds and souls can integrate more easily into our ever evolving self. So how do we allow this learning to take place when we know WE ARE RIGHT? ;)
STOP TALKING AND BECOME AWARE Since every relationship in your life is only a mirror of what is on the inside and the lessons you are here to learn, we can take every encounter with another, positive, negative or neutral in stride. We can CHOOSE to be an observer, not of the other but of ourselves, since this is really the only person we have direct control over. So, let's take a stressful or heated discussion with a loved one for an example (it is the holidays after all ;)). You have within your power to control the energy of the encounter should you choose to. A little know secret is energy can be moved, transformed, manipulated at our will...I know that's out there for some of you, but bare with me. So the encounter is getting heated...first, stop (talking) and be honest with yourself...you can FEEL once a conversation hits a certain point and it no longer serving the best interest of either party. Be honest with yourself and FORGIVE yourself and the other person for, well being HUMAN and ALLOW and ACCEPT that fact! We all let things get out of hand some :) I know, tough first step for some of us...I know it is for me. BREATHE...YES, BREATHE Now this is where you might begin getting a couple of stares...but that's okay, because if you want to be at the forefront of nurturing conscious healthy relationships, you may have to FEEL a little weird. :) So, after you've become aware of the situation...take a few deep, belly breaths (there's that breathing thing again). Let the party goers around you are your kids look at you funny, in about 10 seconds, you're going to have more control over everything because you've shifted your OWN ENERGY by BREATHING....okay, better? Now you can move forward from a place that is a little more centered (figuratively and literally...from your belly and heart to be exact).:) MOVE...SMILE...LAUGH...TOUCH... Once you are back in your body and out of your head (thank you beautiful breath), and this is where others may not notice but you may feel a little awkward, maybe even vulnerable (I know it's a dirty word for some of us;))... DO SOMETHING! Stay committed to not talking, and move (away if necessary), smile (that's when you move both corners of your mouth towards your eyebrows), laugh (if the moment moves you) or touch, yes, touch the other person...give them a hug or a pat on the shoulder or if you feel they are still a little "prickly" give yourself a squeeze! :) You will be amazed at how movement, however small, will continue to transform the moment...our bodies are sooooo smart! If the other person can't quite FEEL the shift in energy yet, I like to put my hands together (or hug myself if I'm feeling daring) and assure myself I have taken care of my own stuff through breathing, therefore getting back in my body and releasing the blocked energy through movement. It's amazing how quickly the other person will come around once you've shifted your own energy! So cheers to the amazing people in our lives who continue to bring about experiences that allow us to take responsibility for our own, ah hem, crap! And cheers to YOU for beginning to breathe and move and laugh again!!! You surely are changing the world one relationship at at time! Namaste! So many of us believe that we are inherently uncreative – is that even a word? I’m not artistic, or musical or crafty! Okay, that’s fine but the truth is WE ARE CREATORS! We create our own realities EVERY DAY whether we are conscious of it or not! So I thought this week, especially during a season of anticipated (and dreaded) family gatherings, celebratory( and overwhelming) community events, spirited (and crowded) shopping malls and peaceful (and anxiety causing) worship services you might want to know how you can CREATE the experiences you TRULY DESIRE rather than be at the mercy of whatever happens; be it Mom’s seemingly harmless comments rubbing you the wrong way or an out of touch religious figure whose musings put you just over the edge! Learning how your energy effects create-ivity will allow you to feel a little more in control of this season that is truly filled with much, much light!
So here it is…two things: 1) You CAN consciously create your reality! 2) There is a state of subtle energy YOU MUST REACH BEFORE you can CONSCIOUSLY begin creating your reality! (This is what The Secret left out!) Before you can go into your family gathering with the expectation and vision of a peaceful and fun event, you must first be in a state of internal well-being, allowance or some say of acceptance of whatever the outcome. You must know and FEEL in your gut that no matter what happens, YOU are able to be well, to allow, what is taking place without it affecting your inner peace and stability! Sound hard? It is…at first…but then it becomes more and more a part of you. AND THEN THAT PLACE of acceptance you can begin to consciously imagine the all the kids playing peacefully together, Uncle Roy knowing his alcohol limits and maybe even that pastor actually shedding some light on subject matter you’ve recently been pondering yourself! Create that! H ave you ever felt like you’re being pulled in a hundred different directions all at once? You women out there may be asking, isn’t that just the way life is? Do you like to call this dispersion of energy “multi-tasking?” Well, I’m going to pop some of your bubbles (especially the ladies out there)! Multi-tasking is great for doing a lot of things without a lot of consciousness. And recent studies of “multi-tasking” have shown it to be much less effective than focusing on one thing at a time. Okay, I may have lost some of you now because you’re saying, well that’s how I am or that’s how I function…but hear me out (sistas especially…the gentlemen have got this one pretty much down)! What I’m about to say will make you feel less stressed thus decrease illness and boost your immune system and maybe even increase your overall quality of life, especially during this busy time of year!
H ere it is…BLOCK YOUR TIME! Before you begin your week go through each day and decide what you will choose to be present to and BLOCK IT! The secret then is to HONOR YOUR OWN CHOICES! If you block 4pm-6pm for dinner/family time then don’t check your email while the pasta is boiling! I know we all CAN do this, but it doesn’t mean it is to our highest benefit. If you’ve set this time aside for family and dinner…BE PRESENT to your choice! Listen to your kids chatter in the back seat on the way home from practice instead of finishing up that last business call. Make dinner a time to reinvigorate the senses (which will serve in other areas of your life as well J). Listen to the water boil, enjoy the aroma of the sauce (even if it’s straight from the jar)…can you pick out the scent of onion and garlic. Sit down and, now I know this might sound crazy, TASTE and CHEW your food! Enjoy the face time with your roommate, spouse, friends , kids or yourself! J BE PRESENT to what is in front of you…after all YOU chose it! Block the your time the way you would like to spend it! Go for the ideal! Yes, life will happen sometimes? Of course! But try to honor how and with what or whom you’d like to spend you’re time with. Be completely present with your choice, mind, body and spirit! See how you FEEL? You may actually get more done and be happier and healthier doing it! J So about three months ago, after taking a couple years to work part time gigs to help pay the bills (oh and have babies!)…I got a REAL job! It was a job I went to school for…practical, financially stable, it would allow me to “work from home” although I would not be able to BE PRESENT with my children, but really from the outside it looked like the perfect opportunity for a “single mom” looking to support herself and two kids! My parents were happy, my baby daddy was happy, my friends were happy for me, and I was…well…relieved to have the pressure off!
So I went to the orientation. I walked into the building ready to take on this new challenge that seemed, by all external measures to be an answer to prayers…but as soon as I entered the room with all the other employees I got nauseas…anxious…shaky… so much so that I had to walk outside. I chalked it up to having been a stay-at-home mom for the last two years and nerves about starting a new job. I tried to “suck it up” and the next 3 days of orientation were like torture internally for me but I continued work another month disregarding every fiber of my being screaming that I made a wrong turn. I eventually figured out this was a life changing turning point for me. I was in the midst of discerning whether or not to begin doing the healing work I KNEW I was meant to do, but which meant starting my own business (something I knew little to nothing about). But in that moment (and following month of torture J) I realized that I wanted so much more for my life and my girls! I didn’t want them to grow up watching their mother settle for less happiness than we all deserve and so I left. I left and I turned back towards the path I knew was for me…and it worked!!! The Universe supports us! God knows our hearts and guess what…if you listen (especially to your body…a direct conduit of Light) you will begin to know your own heart too and together, with that Source Energy that gives life to EVERYTHING, will create the most beautiful life you can imagine! So cheers to letting go of fear and to the external and honoring the innate wisdom that lies at the center of each of us! I found this little excerpt in a notebook I keep in my purse for "homemaking" things like grocery lists. I have no recollection of writing it. It spoke to me this morning...I hope someone else may find solace in it as well. Have a beautiful Sunday!
"When you receive sparks of truth or enlightenment on this journey, do not think of them as absolutes or finalities; stop...breathe...fill your heart with love and gratitude...for you are evolving and we are fortunate to be in a time where we are able to witness many stages of our own evolution AS it is happening! So say thank you to the spark and be ever patient and vigilant waiting for the next." Cheers to our evolution! About five years ago, when I was the youngest member on the very official, pastoral counsel, at one of the largest Catholic churches in the nation, I was asked to give a talk about prayer to about 100 junior high kids! And get this; I didn’t have ANY technology support…so no cool little floating Jesuses in lotus position or videos of the newest “come to Jesus” celebrity to back up my ponderings on this ancient practice. Just me, about a billion raging hormones and some poster board! Fast forward to the present (and an eternity of spiritual awakenings later), I look back on that talk (that went very well, I might brag) and am proud that even before I was a meditating, intuitive guru (okay, too far) I was indeed able to impart a little wisdom that still rings true for me. I hope you will find it a useful acronym to add to your toolbox as well. Okay, so for you culinary savants out there, I’m not really sure if salt is a spice or a seasoning but please insert the proper gastronomic phrase and let’s all just move forward, please? Intuition is one of those words that’s fun to say but can be really hard to put into practical everyday use; one, because we’re not all convinced that it SHOULD be integrated into our daily lives but also because we have a belief (whether conscious or unconscious) that this nebulous term is reserved for the uber special spirtua-lites who can actually trust their gut if they feel like their plane is going down. Well, I say throw some seasoning over your left (or is it right) shoulder and let’s begin to reclaim our birth right as the salt of the earth! S is for Surrender Have you ever been so caught up in a situation, say, trying to make a relationship succeed or contriving every detail of a project for work or scheduling your children’s day to the millisecond just so you could make sure you were comfortable, it was done right or you could have a little peace? How’d that work out for you? Did you feel the ease and bliss that life can bring or did you pop an anxiety pill and trudge forward believing that if you could gain just a little more control of the situation, everything would be fine. Fast forward days, weeks and for some, decades later. Did it work? And if it did, how is your health? Are your relationships nurturing? Are you in love with your career? And most importantly (drum roll please) are you happy? I’m here to tell you your intuition can save you from grey hairs, wrinkles, heart palpitations, sleep and not to mention ill-suited jobs and relationships. But in order to hear this little voice that truly does reside in each one of us, you must surrender! Hmmm, well that’s nice Leslie, I’ll just wave my little white flag and check out of reality for a while. Although I would recommend this for some, specifically for all you single, independently wealthy, unemployed, in the best shape of your life people out there (you know who you are), I will try to expound for the rest of us. Surrendering can be very scary which is why some of us never even make it to this first step of tapping into intuition. It means letting go. Letting go of any judgments, beliefs and perceptions that you may have about the situation. For some of us it’s taking a step back and admitting that, as wonderful as we are, we may only see a tiny part of the big picture, and dun, dun, dun…we might be WRONG! To surrender is humbling but it is also empowering. It opens you up and makes you more receptive (yes, a feminine/yin quality that most of our society is very uncomfortable with) to the one who would be your Helper, Wing-man (yang!) your Co-Creator. It is in this exhaling and letting go that we become vulnerable (I know, another dirty word) and able to see that there is something at work much greater than we can imagine. Lucky for divine order, we get to be a part of it if we can surrender to the Big Guy in the Sky, Universal Intelligence, Divine Source! So chose your co-pilot and let goooooooooooo! Paragraph. Stay tuned for A is for Ask!
Yesterday I was sitting out on the patio watching my two-year-old, Louisa, splash around in her plastic swimming pool. You know the one: blue with multi colored, bug-eyed underwater creatures staring up at you through the leaf-laden water? It’s amazing the abandon with which such a small child slips and slides, jumps and splashes, never worrying that a little leaf may stick to her butt or that she will slip and fall too hard. With unabashed wildness she flung her limbs as I watched the water spray up in the air and fall like fairy dust all around this beautiful iridescent skinned sprite. Just then my wide camera focus, narrowed as my daughter honed in on a small buzzing creature flipped upside down in the wakes. The water settled to a calm placid lake as Lou crept up on the tiny insect struggling for its life. My instinct as a mama bear was to leap in between my little one and the deadly stinging monster, but something in that moment made me stop…and watch…and be still. I looked at the amusement and absolute unbridled joy on my daughter’s face. I then looked inside my constricted, anxious self and chose to exhale…and smile. She giggled as she pushed the water around the little helper bee and now I felt that urge to help the little guy out, but again, I inhaled …and waited …and smiled. Louisa was now concerned for the struggling little exoskeleton as well. I encouraged her to find a way to help if that is what she felt. She pointed to an empty cinnamon container sitting in the overgrown grass outside of the pool and motioned for me to assist. I did and she filled the shaker with water. Sliding up on the bee, she began dowsing it as she poured water from the little holes in the top of the once spicy abode. “Come on bubas,” she cheered him on with her own pet name. The anthropod gasped and struggled to breathe (I imagine) through the enormous droplets. She had high hopes for the little guy. She saw his infinite potential as pollinator to the greatest of flowers and wanted him to be able to live out his bee mission (or wait, was that me…hmmmm?). Lou was slightly disheartened. I was devastated! I encouraged her to try something else. She picked up a rectangular shaped container resembling a kitty litter box (okay… it was a kitty litter box, but we got it at Goodwill and I didn’t realize it until we got home and had already spent many hours filling it up with “bubble water” to play in on our small upstairs apartment patio…pre grassy yard with big plastic pool). So this bubble keeper quickly became a wave maker as Lou scooped and pushed the water trying to get our little hero to climb onto the rim of the poop box. Again she was at a loss. The bee could not seem to jump, fly or climb the thick edge to save its own life. There was, however, forward progress made as massive waves flipped the bee over so he could now doggie paddling his six legs and seemed, even for a bee, a little more hopeful. There was a lightness to his stroke, if I do say so myself. The bee seemed to realize at this point that there were other things to grab hold of around him. It’s like his tiny bee brain woke up. Lou was determined. She would provide the instrument for this little guy to grab on to. This time getting out of the pool herself to find a lifesaver, Lou picked up a gardening tool with three prongs for turning over dirt. I would’ve chosen a shovel myself, but that’s beside the point. As she carried it over to what seemed would be the bee’s watery grave, she suddenly let out a huge yelp and threw the tool in the air grabbing her hand in pain. This time I ran to my baby bear’s side (a mother can only take so much) to see what this normally tough skinned kid was crying about. In trying to help, she had coincidently got a large splinter in her hand. Before she could even get her helpful tool to the bug itself, she had to learn a painful lesson. The very thing she had chosen to save the poor creature’s life, who obviously needed her help, was the very thing that bit her on the…hand! (Sound familiar?) Meanwhile, our little prince of a bug, paddled his way over to a small plastic ice cream cone Lou had left outside from the day before. A perfect unwitting floatation device the winged body was able to grab a hold of to pull him from what seemed to be a dire set of circumstances. We both looked over at this brave soul and marveled at his capacity to live, to breathe, to continue his mission to pollinate the world (I imagine)! Lou clapped and jumped up and down, thrilled for the little fella. I looked on and wished I could have done more. It seems I have much to learn from the littlest spirits among us. Maybe we need to offer to shake things up once in awhile, but mostly just stand back and allow nature to take its course. Love it. Laugh at its obscurity and awe at the fact that we are allowed to play a small part in the cosmic plan. I am committed to stopping…watching…and just beeing until I can breathe and smile at the natural, uncontrived unfolding of the souls and world around me. THE BACKSTORY: The week this mindful event took place was the same week I made a conscious decision to be absolutely present with my girls. I vowed to stop worrying about everything else when they needed me (at 2 and 8 months that's pretty much any time they are awake:)). I realized that all those worries will still be there and all I need to do when my babies are with me is be with them. Enjoy them. Be thankful that I have this time with them. Maybe there is a reason I am not working in a conventional job right now. Maybe the universe is providing me with an opportunity to just be with the girls and all I have to do is say "yes!" All I have to do is trust that the universe, my co-creator, will take care of the us. Funny enough, the next week, my dream job dropped in my inbox and another income opportunity I had planted a seed for months ago appeared! So learn to relax and be present with those in front of you and trust you are completely taken care of. Even the telling of this story, that would have never happened if I was checking my email while Lou played, became a blog that I can use as part of my dream job application. So trust people, TRUST...and be! |
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